Do You Even Remember? (Repostus)

15/11/2017

Oh God I pray, that you make me strong enough to survive and be joyful each day.
Oh God I pray, that you hear me speak these words.
Oh God I pray, that you cherish my friends and my family.
Oh God I pray, that you bless this planet that we live in.
Oh God I pray, that you Remember me on the days I’m weak
Oh God I pray, that I can continue to write out my emotions

That i don’t give up
and that i don’t forget God,
That I always Remember,
and that you never Forget. Amen.

***Whispered Prayers

Would you even notice if I stole some of your happiness?
Would you even notice if I said I ‘burrowed’ it? just for a little while
Do you even see me standing on your window pane at night
I’m the same size as the spiders crawling in your heart.

Do the sounds of the sirens scare you?
It’s almost midnight
Will you open the blinds to look out?
Will you see me finally smiling across the street?
Would you wave at this stranger looking at you because you recognize this face?
Be honest, will you let me get away?
Will you tell the police you never saw my face?
Will you tell them you don’t remember my name?

Do you even remember?
The song I sang?
About a time I was in Moscow?
About how you looked different but beautiful knowing I could taste your makeup with each kiss on your cheek.
Do you remember I spoke about being enlightened?
I’ve learnt a lot since then

That i’m stupid and that i’m dumb
And that man should never play God?

Do you remember how I looked across the road before I took of?
The tears in my eyes or the blood in my mouth from biting my tongue to not scream that ‘I am sorry’?

Do you remember the castle we built next to the beach?
Our kingdom, our paradise.
How we had dug it up from underneath the first snow of the season
How I had shared with you everything that had touched my soul
After that heist with all the love that we stole.
I drenched my half in petrol and lit it.
And it hurt so much to look.
Have you ever seen a melting heart?

I had begged you not to cry,
And I let you weep into my chest when you couldn’t hold it in?
Would the sun ever shine like it used to?
Will the night be less dark?

Will the unicorn I rode return to me?
Will the Lilies becomes Roses with my blood?
Will my flaws haunt me till I’m in the grave?
Do you even remember your flaws?

Of course not,
You filled a hole, but grew
Blossoming like the Cherry Blossoms I write about so much about
Then withering like a Rose in Stockholm’s cold storm
I’m sorry I couldn’t bless you with my patience.

You looked in Peace, how I probably caused you sleepless nights
how I never did everything possible.

Maybe one day, after legions of actions
After I’ve crossed seas and been buried in ash
After I’ve crawled from the dust and beneath the sand, I’d find this memory deep in my chest.

This memory that wasn’t real
This memory that never happened
Of a starry night
Heavens lights
And An angel and Devil
That fell in love.