To Ada

24/01/2016

I let myself down and it wasn’t because I wished you loved me. it was because I wanted you to know I cared.

On that cold afternoon with the sun over our heads… our skins glowed a gold colour

I called you a princess and I meant it. because I’m weird in that kind of way. and you said you were 17 and I told you I was 16. you smiled, I blushed. I smiled, you blushed. like a chemical reaction it took place…

I didn’t want to leave anything too sentimental, because I assumed it would be drivel to you. I guess it’s useless now, but I feel hysterical.

I had acted like I didn’t care, and like I wanted you to disappear. That other bit was kind of true, I wanted to disappear with you.
We were beyond all of this.

I just want you to know this.

You’re so fucking Special.