Once…

13/02/2015

Once, 3 years ago
On green sticky notes, I wrote my first poem
And I called it ‘meadow’
Because it was my imagination
And all that it was about
And I never showed my teacher
Because I couldn’t trust her with my mind
And my mom didn’t get to see it
Because I had hid it away
That was my junior year in high school
I stuck it in-between a textbook before my science test
I was running late and had to get dressed
And Liz called me her bestfriend
And Bimbo gave me a Christmas card
Which I hope came from her heart
And she signed it with a row of X’s
And my dad was always so proud of me
He reminded me each time with a smile

Once, 2 years ago
During an english language test, I wrote my second poem
And I called it ‘Tree’
Because that was all I could think about
And it lives in my meadow
And the teacher gave me an “A”
And told me how good a writer I was
And my mom didn’t get to see it
Because I still didn’t trust anyone
That was the year my baby sister got braces
After 2 teeth got pulled out
And the girls in my school
Complimented my ‘good’ looks
Even though they still called me weird
And made jokes about me
And Liz was heartbroken
After she broke up with her boyfriend
And my dad started telling me to man up
It scared me to think he might not always be here with me

Once, a few hours ago
On paper from a friend’s notebook, I wrote another poem
And I called it “Innocence?”
Because that was the name of my flaw
And all that life was all about
And most of my friends liked it
But I kept it’s true meaning shrouded in mystery
And my mom hasn’t seen it
Because I only just wrote it
My parents spoke in harsh but encouraging tones,
When I failed biology for the first time
And my grandfather completed his autobiography
And I like this girl, who lives 4000 miles away from me
And she is so perfect
That I hope she’ll love me someday

Once,
At night time, I tucked myself into bed
Because I was in boarding school
So I tried this poem in my head
And I called it ‘absolutely nothing’
Because that’s what it was all about
And I told myself it was perfect
And in my dream, I thought of ending my life
And so I slit my wrists, because life isn’t worth my strife
Then I woke up, and I cried