#20 – 02:22


I’ve turned out all the lights
And i’m feeling a little blue
It’s the middle of the night
And darling i’m thinking of you

Will you be here soon
Radiant Sunshine
Beseech the green moon
To find something better to do

Love is a four letter word
That rules the world
Love is a four letter
Lethal, but you may have all of mine

#19 – Wounded by fear


The dawn is breaking in

On Sunday morning

It’s nothing and all

Save me from my falling

Don’t let it break your heart

I don’t want us to be apart

Night haunts me

Will you hold onto love

Murder, is just a kiss away

Bite me.

#18 – for BE but not to BE


For second I thought
Thou must be
The most beautiful creature
In this world or any others

And for all the seconds
And years since
I’ve had very little doubt
That if one knew
How the world was governed
One would know,
That not all of beauty roams free

Even the moon, the stars
And the sun
Are bound like leaves in a tree
But compared to you
In ecstatic glee
Most else looked like pitiful tar

So I consign myself
To be a satellite for thee
That thee may give life
To me.

#17 – Octavia’s dream


If I asked
What you knew of fate
You may say
It’s a door or rather the gate
That one will pass
Whether struggling or with poise
For no one can change
What was at the beginning never a choice

If I asked
What you thought
About new beginnings
You may say
Stop with the foolishness
We both know
Such things do not exist
Except in dreams

#16 – D.D. D.D.C.


Send for the diadems
To be placed on his head
He’ll be ready once
That girl leaves his bed

Send for the maids
to water seeds
Before the sun comes out
But not more water than
the plant needs

How does the beast feed
From our thoughts when we sleep
Memories of secret deeds
That we intend to keep

#15 – It’s not empty


Perhaps the angels are all sleeping
And heaven will not hear this
But there’s a little child weeping
Questioning creation and all of this

In all likelihood, we’re in hell she said
But don’t try to reason you way out
You’ll only keep flailing till you’re dead
Then you’ll see there’s nothing to fuss about

I’d venture a guess, but I don’t know who’s listening
And there’s clues for those who wish to find it
First, within a forest grave you’ll find treasure glistening
Lastly, the ink on the page will not blot.

#14 – Gold


Clementine knows
I think she knows
that I think she’s gold

When we were young,
Things were different.
And still she wishes to be

Like the delicate flowers
she was. Even though,
All things must have it’s season.

She tells me that sometimes,
She forgets the harder things,
So I call her heaven in my bed.

In my sweet dreams
We shared in our youth
I think I was called ‘Lucky Cody’.

When together for supper
I am just humble miner
And she was my darling,

#13 – Las Manos


It was silent
Like the graves we got drunk by
It was cold
Like the tombs we crept by
It felt like a miracle
The most beautiful sound
I’d ever heard
It was boundless
Like the ocean your mother drowned in
It was warm
Like my voice against your face
And your hand on my chest
It was sung
And i heard it somehow
Although i was deaf
It was also the first time
The world gained color
Before my very eyes

#12 – Wir waren namenlos


The children gather around the rainbow coloured xylophone
Singing rhymes that the teacher taught them a day ago
Holding hands circling rings around the player who was suddenly not alone
It’s a lovely memory buried in my past from forever ago

I glide through the rooms in this mind palace
Trying to retrace some steps I seem to have lost
You are the oil poured over the head of the king from the middle school play
I am the traitors cup of wine from an eventful last meal

There he was sitting on his hospital bed
Playing a video game that he got some Christmases ago
Not a care in the world that he had been dead
Maybe not more than 3 hours ago

She is convulsing at the foot of the altar
Enraptured with zeal for the ineffable
Save him lord or i may very much die as well, she cried
To all who watched, the truth echoing was palpable.

We were children circling the glorious throne
Lost in the profundity of reality
It was silent…
Echoing silence bordering on unreality.

Nameless but we knew better
And since we had all of eternity
We continued to sing and continued to dance
We continued to love as though it were our only chance.

#11 – Lockstep through a fire 


Storms break to the yoke of sunshine
We fall deeper into each other’s arms
tripping on the guitarist’s blues strings
Drunk in love on something so fine

Winter caves that life may spring
So the earth yields to seedlings
We move lockstep in tune
To the words of my slow revolution

The glances our eyes steal at another
Perhaps today I should say hello
But first a very big thank you
To GS, Buddha and Alexander
How to find a, sound eagle and inner peace.
And all others who read and share and like

Tonight as I write
The wind sings into my lungs
Dusk promises to take me home
With my head in clouds I hear subtle songs
The ink speaks to me like the heart of a fire
Incantations written with the blood of Gaia

#10 – Bike


Today I rode to the fruit shop on my bike
I bought some apples, cherries and a pomegranate
Then I got a cucumber and other veggies that I like
My sister calls to remind me about the dates

Yesterday I rode to the park on my bike
But my friends said we’d walk the rest of the way
So up the fairy’s hill we took a hike
It was a truly memorable day

#9 – Beast of prey


Love and let live
Cries the spirit of the time
Drive and take me
To the springs of ever after

Violent delights
And impassioned outcries
Of please let me go
Question marked innocence
And juvenile love
Pleasing to let me know

Catch me if I fall
Deeper into winters virgin snow
Save me from the untold
If this insanity continues to unfold

Under the covers
You lay like a beast
Who knows what goes on in that head
Your eyes fixed to the stars
Thanks to heaven for this feast
That girl curled in your bed

Love and let live
Cries the spirit of the times
Save yourself if you wish to be free
Beast or prey or whatever you may be

#8 – Avenue


All I wanted was to do right
But in my passions was led into this song
And as I strayed from the light
I left you with this wrong

Of Goading the feeble-minded beast
With the hilt of your sword
Responsible for this abomination soaking our feet
The blood of those still joined at the cord

What will you pray, say
About this senseless massacre
That I have wrought upon this day
You harbinger of disaster

Do you not hear the bells tolling
For you and for me
Do you not feel hells grasp tightening
Do you still believe we are free

Someone’s going to pull me up from under
Although it might be foolish to ponder
That from the wrongs of hades and all we had mistaken,
Right will come to lead us to heaven

Don’t you dare
Think you can understand me now
I don’t care
And nothing can stop me now.

From another world
You can say
Be a little foolish
Right and Wrong be One and the Same.

#7 – On the sea


Dissolve to become foam in the waves
Retire with me to be a sprite that saves
Lost souls searching for a home
With nothing in the world and no place to go.

Swim over me with the thirst of the sea
We are who we are and what we want to be
And although our roads were paved on forgiven sins
The walls still feel like they’re closing in.

Will you shepherd me through the wildness
And comfort me in this valley of death
Will you take care of me
Will we survive out there on the sea

#6 – Rusalochka 


It’s midday over a deep blue sky
With its smell of blossoms and flowers too
Swimming in the wind drifting by
The tree underwhich lay me, ours hearts and you

It began as a melody guiding shipwrecked sailors in their doom
I struggled against the pull from the depths of the sea
Till your siren song calling, I’ll love to see you soon
My soft heart at rest, my air bubbles searching for breath

Love, Princess of the underworld
I thought you were but a dream
You didn’t have to leave the sea
Just to be here in depravity with me

#5 – 5 minutes to midnight


There’s not much to be learnt
About love and fate
Outside of heartbreak, death
And what you thought was freedom
In those pale blue eyes.

It’s a brave thing to know all that,
And still wish to be drunk on romance
I will leave all of tomorrow’s costume parties
High on life
With the poor girl in the silk gown

Will you make a bridge
Between reason and feeling
To be at peace with the truth in yourself.
Or other things be damned?
Yeah, why is that so bad?

#4 – Cinderous Heart aka Mr. Kiln


You are the rosebuds of Golgotha
Thorns stripped away for a crown
I offer them as homage to the king
He’s crying out to the sky, but at us, he smiles down

I am the curtains of the upper room
Torn apart during an earthquake
You fold and entomb me with a carpenter
He held me because I begged, we are risen like bread.

#3 – I dreamed of bees and house, a garden and you


Be my friend in this dream
And share this breath of life with me
It’s not more than it seems
Everyone gasps
When death sets us free

Will you choke the candles
After I have fallen asleep
And lay with to me on the floor
Keeping warm
Tightly till the birds sing of dawn

Guide me through the crossroads
Where the wild roses grow
To find what lives beyond
all façades
Soon we will know

All heart and unintelligible I may be
Deaf to the moans of forever in a hymn
But feeling the warmth of winter’s kiss
On morning dew
I swear to always the there for you

#2 – The Greater Self v Unarmed Killer


I saw sparks fly onto the tinder
Of this already naked mother
Slow, but exponential without rest
An inferno engulfs the forest.

And the crimes we commit
No child is innocent enough for our conceit
The horrors of our hellish tendencies
Born out of utopian fantasies.

Must the soul rage against itself
Convulsing in dread of what is to come
A stupendous crime to end this game
A return to the kingdom of that with no name.

The clouds offer reprieve to the gaping wound
Those who survive content if the sun doesn’t arrive too soon
We’re arming ourselves for a love crime
And we shan’t stop, unto the end of time.

#1 – Parade of bones


Let’s go together to Heaven
Even if we don’t know how
Man doth not by bread
But by the sweat of the brow

Let’s visit the museum
There’s an exhibition in town
Called ‘A parade of bones’
Critics call it ‘Mona Lisa’s frown’

May I touch your cheek
And whisper into your ears
Do you miss me
In that tomb of fears

Teach me how to pray
I’m terrified of Hell
Who could mandate such pain
Asks Moon-burned girl

My Make-Believe Friends & I Love You


Merrily, rowing past, the once thought horizon
the wind in your hair, as you heartily take in breaths
we’re headed to where no man has ever been
sailing beyond the edges of this very earth

Keep your head up my darling Wendy, and smile
take no heed, to the detestable, and envious croaker
that groans of the world’s turns, just you wait a while
things always come around sooner rather than never

These places, we love, that we call homeland
the feeling tarnation of being more amongst strangers than friends
our open want to love each other in spite of arbitrary lines in the sand
and the phantom majority, gazing out through a polarised lens

Its a slow revolution, thats what i’ve always told you
these steps inch forward, though we clawback once or twice
virtues compound up in our collective point of view
the happenings will prove not to be random throws of dice

In the dream we sat, by the shore, talking next to a fire we built
and you said the whole world, feels covered with frost
how do we spread this warmth to lift the corners and create a smile
a light attracting attention that all, will be well, and is not lost.

PS. Be virtuous, seek knowledge, expand your views and when with another of same or different cast of mind, maintain and strengthen your humanity, Be Kind.

PPS. With a great big hug, and a kiss from me to you. I wish you great fortune on this journey too.

Magic Stalk


This wasn’t to be the place to spill these beans
but my darling i’m a vagabond lost
drifting alone through time and space
and everyone can see his mark upon my face

Would you, dear stranger, do me the honour
of sheathing this sword i’ll plunge into my chest
its the only thing tethering my pieces together
I’m hollow without form filled with straw

There’s something to be learnt in dying
surrendering to the afterlife’s midwife
finally watching and appreciating each breath
softly and tenderly departing from the earth

I think back to a time when I played in the sand
making angels with our limbs on the floor
oh what I would give to go back and hold your hand
will I recognise him if love were at my door

You, my friends, don’t, pay attention to this shiftless drunk
that knows nothing about the real thing
its always this or that or some other trifle
let him go gently
let him drink, hell,
let him sing

about the man he murdered out in the forest
and the baby he sacrificed to the world
now he daydreams of peace and understanding
may Pluto grant him a just reckoning

He breaths softly, tears in his eyes
licking his lips at the sight of you
Condemn him to Judecca’s ice
He mustn’t repent his life, for want of nothing left to lose

I’m breathing
I’m here and I’m leaving
I’m dying
without flair, its everywhere
somewhere over there and I’m blooming

I’m sorry
I was trying unsuccessfully to be good
I wonder what i’ll find up in these clouds
oh whoever you are
will you forgive me

I’m breathing
I’m dying
I’m breathing
I’m living

Oh, I forgot to add, I planted some magic seeds.

Come with me


When i look out this chest to see
The yesterday of what i used to be
Searching for little love we could borrow
Watching the ripples of soon tomorrow

I feel sunshine at the rainbows end
Something you gave to me my dear friend
Flying through the sky in a calm breath
Taking in the noisy life before death

I feel your hand still pressed in mine
And i’m glad to hear that you’re fine
After we escaped from this house
That we slowly burnt to the ground

Your intense loving was all that I’d need
Even as this soft heart continued to bleed
I miss our pact of guileless felicity
When did you and I begin to lose trust in we

Darling i’m lying on the moon
And i’m planning jump down soon
Because my head is in a total mess
And waiting no longer makes sense

This monkey weighs heavily on my back
And I think i’m about to break because I lack
Mama’s sweet loving: chicken with mashed potatoes
And baby’s warm hugs, kisses and good morning hellos

Buried alongside ‘I love you so much’
And the hurt that ‘I had to leave’ behind
To fertilize this ‘new adventure’ that keeps me terrified
All over me, i’m ‘completely satisfied’

There’s a valley of God between ‘I exist’
and ‘You do too’ clouded by mist
There’s a sea of love between ‘the day we met’
And ‘till the end’, it’s ripples we soon forget

African-American Divorce


There’s dust on your windshield
but there you were
sitting by the five-0’s fender,
saying baby, come here

there’s a funny eccentricity
in the mathematics of my dreams
I listen to a man preaching common laws
and try to discern what he truly means

Will you join me as I raise hell
and stake your life to this slow revolution
because if we don’t, I can tell
that ours will be another lost generation

In this story of vows and rivers
that’s the same everywhere I went
this boy, all scrawny and shivers
and this girl, just wanting things to be different

Take your virgin out to the matinee
and kiss her tenderly
because boy you will never see
the girl you fell in love with so dearly

Her parents worked her up to tears
and made you a criminal in her eyes
you misunderstanding her childhood fears
did nothing to stand up against their lies

Maybe she’ll sing you a song
a rhapsody of what you shared in the dark
she’ll return the ring of love promised to last long
and finally turn her back

She ran away from it all, taking all that you had
except what you wished to give
have your heart and wedding ring back
she wept, even though she chose to leave

Its been a decade since the day
you found that note in her hijab behind your closet
she said, ‘although I don’t want to remember the U.S of A
I still love you, and my days with you were the best.’

In a letter I wrote,
‘Sharon, I’m sorry I was weak
when you needed me the most
I still believe miracles happen
these feelings are my curse and gift from heaven.
because I had confused them with what was true
and I thought this world was made especially for me and you.’

Burning in the sun, and losing my mind


In your arms I’m lost
like a sparrow post-deluge.
And if i’m not found,
will you remember how we,
loved with our feet on the ground?

I can see your light
shining through the desperate gloom.
There’s no will in me
to put up a rousing fight.
My love know, I’ll see you soon.

What the heart wants


I recall faintly
violent dreams
and crude awakenings
I forget feeling
a growing void
of life without meaning

Can we pick back up
broken pieces
to repair this tea cup
will you be willing
to spare your gold
to mend my many faults

This quiet heart wants
sweet loving
peace and understanding.
It leans out for you
and beats gently
for a world without war

– For Marianne (and her hidden love)

#12 – sing another song, boys


This is a song
I happened across alone
The night I tried to find
a place to belong
And I heard you sing
On that microphone

This is a bar
For all the manics
Who loved heart first
accused of going too far
To quench that thirst
Here, remember, do not panic

This is about a lady
and a man
Who were willing to travel
into the depths, of human
Together forever
Or at least, until death

This is a hotel
For the broken hearted
Who just want somebody to hold
And the lost souls
of the dearly departed
Too scared to return back home

This is a home where you can be free
We don’t worry about what’s in your closet
Or if you don’t have a cloth rack
Don’t you bother your chest with secrets
Lighten the load off your back
Find the real you, and the real me

This is a song
For wallflowers in a bar
Enjoying the nightly philharmonics
This is a place to belong
And it’ll never be far
We share doobage and gin tonics

#11 – “Man sieht sich immer zweimal”


Let’s dance over the beads at night
And relish in the summers starlight
You both are gems in the wide wild world
In your glories, our souls unfurled

There I was discovering the things you know
You smiled, irresistibly engaged and going with the flow
Of gin tonic, Molly, and late night salvation
Against the odds, we met and softened into early morning conversation

You hadn’t been traveling for too long
And we never went too far
But without regaling our ears with a song
We knew you both were superstars

When the world froze for a night
And all were 4 twinkling starlights
Drinking in a bar, by the river
We spoke about a homey Italian dinner

How special was that man? He asks me

More than what my words could even explain! I reply, trying to sound wise

We have to do this again some other day, we’ll come visit you when we’re free

You said: Of course, you know, people always meet each other twice

– For P. Hans & S. Moon

#10 – We have got so much


I don’t want to begin my thoughts with ifs and maybes
but you are contradictory to my logic
maybe and if I were a better man, then I would just be
without any of the struggles of being
But that would hardly make me a man, would it?
just a machine or a god
either way, I feel you’d prefer that,
then you could use me
selfishly and unfeeling without remorse

Please don’t let these words worry you
Just thoughts that sprung in my mind
from depths I am unaware of
but I know enough that that they do not belong to me alone
so perhaps you will forgive my imperfections
for they are who I am
And I shall continue forging on
in a path I shall make mine

This is not a poem
but a confession, a secret and assertion
for the dead and the living
as long as you can forgive and love again
then it’ll all be right, because you and I know thats what we have to do
Soon they would come to round us up
to quell the slow revolutions happening in our minds
to trample on the flowers growing in our hearts

I would like to go on and on, I don’t care
I’m singing a life’s song, that I become a better man
and I know you’ll join along, and share this light air
This love for love makes me a child again
I’m foolish and learning, maybe I’m free
Will you build these castles with me on the beach
as you take a break from where you are from
on the journey to where you are headed
and if you ask for directions,
I’ll point to both sides, then up and down
and tell you we have to hurry
to where we’re going
our ambitions expanding the circle of journey
and I’ll be with you at the destination, which is where we come from
Take the first step
and the fantasies shall become real life
take the first step
and what you will find will change your life
from the depths in me erupts this message
and if you’re willing to hear it
just like i’m willing
you’ll see that we have all got so much.

#2 – a little princess


There’s a little princess in your town
And she’s all on her own
You mustn’t let her down
Neither now nor when she’s all grown

There’s a little princess trapped somewhere in an attic
She’s gone from a hundred to nearly zero
And I fear she might soon begin to panic
Someone please, we need a superhero

Do you think you have what it takes
To don on the cape
Or are you just another one of the fakes
Trying for an unruly escapade

There’s a princess playing with her dolls
Ones very small, the other slightly tall
They were having tea and playing house
Until they were interrupted by a cat chasing a mouse

She met a gentleman’s monkey
That happened to sneak in through the window
She wondered gazing out of the balcony
If a saviour would come from the world below

There’s a peasant boy
Slaving away in the castle
Day and night, but in his suffering finding joy
Who heard the racket from that day
And wondered what was all the hassle

So one day when he thought he was alone
He snuck to the peak of the stairwell
And when he heard her voice his ghost almost left his bones
He tripped and down the stairs, he fell

She called out to him
Looking from the keyhole
‘Help me please, please help me’
He thought she must have been who had been using the extra food bowls

The next day while alone again
We walks up and knocks asking
How can I help you?
Why are you up here?

My father is dead
And this witch keeps me locked up here
All that is in here is a bed
And a window for fresh air

He sneaks into the mistresses room
And steals a mysterious looking key
He fits it into the lock and twists
The little princess bursts out free

The sound of a horse carriage stops their short jubilation
And they go off to the back to hide
The girl giggling with elation
As he lead the way into a pig sty

Peeking out they hear a sharp cry
And fiery smoke rise up into the sky
Suddenly they saw the monkey screeching to get their attention
He leads the way out through the back plantation

This girl ran in the direction of the brook
And stood behind a man holding a sword
She embraced him with tears in her eyes calling him father
He looks arms stretched to the boy calling him son

He puts them behind him to face the eternal adversary
Knowing that bygones do not remain bygones
He must do what is necessary
By slaying this beast of a dragon

There’s a little princess in our town
And she’s running faraway
Please don’t let her down
Give her a place to stay

She’s making up stories
From her prison in the attic
Of knights and dragons and all sorts of glories
Trying desperately not to panic

There’s a princess in your town
She laughs thinking how I must sound
I’m going to be okay she smiles
I’ve got a knack for weaving truthful wiles

There’s a girl I saw today
Who carries herself with the dignity of royalty
She saves herself, eventually some other day
She gained mine and your loyalties

I’ll fight for this little princess
Till I’ve given up all the breath in my lungs
Give everything I have in excess
I know i’m not going to be wrong

Loving a little princess
as a little peasant boy
And being a little princess
Loving a peasant boy

#3 – notes from a hospital bathroom stall


You bled softly on what became the wolfs moon
i cried sombrely to you, your favorite tune
there’s no way to fix your broken heart in time
so i’ll give you another, have a piece of mine

Once on a clear nights sky
You told me about when you tried to die
Your sins that you never forgave
And about how you hate the bed you made

I hope you now know what I knew
And that everyday is a chance to start anew
Don’t be bound by your demons in the past
Take advantage of today, and make that moment last

#9 – The merry blues


It’s the merry blues
And quiet nights alone in my head
Loved by thoughts of you
Trying to get in my bed

It’s the merry blues
And memories in the lush forest
smoking marijuana with you
Someone said, those times were the best

On so many nights
If you remember the words we said
Clutching underneath starlights
The dirt and the whole earth were our bed

It’s the merry blues
And a breath of fresh air
Neither of us was bad news
But who’s objective in a love affair?

You can call me a liar
And deny once, and deny twice any claim
That your heart was ever on fire
And it was all just an expertly played game

I have only one excuse
For the scene that’s stuck in my head
And it’s the merry blues
You and I dancing, as we make your bed.

#6 – colonel bogey and friends


I hear whispers of when we’re loved
In the depths of distant memory
I wonder what it is that we may have lost
Lapsing into momentary reverie

I welcome daylight and
whatever songs the birds are singing
It’s natures way of lending me a hand
As I stumble awake absently thinking

Do you still whistle skippy’s tune
When you’re alone drinking tea
I don’t even know what i’m talking about
You probably don’t even remember me

#7 – Untitled #3 


There’s possibilities unseen
Limitless in a distant nights sky
Above where I lay
Dreaming of you and I

The grass is brown from drought
Theres only the occasional chirp then deep silence
And tiny orbs of light from the fireflies
Earth’s Stars with a natural luminescence

#1 – Words I thought about under the mother moon


As the night crept quietly over our little town
We whispered our wishes to the moon
Into a gourd we set on the river to wash down
And into the swamps of the evil forest

We heard a weeping child at night silenced by growling wolves
Teaching it early lessons of life and fate
Someone later asked how we could permit one so young to be taught by beasts
We replied that we are all the same, and nature merely aided in what we had been late to do

A little girl wishes to set sail to the edge of the world
In search of a purpose, love and the supposed meaning of her life
Her mother wailed like she was weeping the dead
While her father beamed from ear to ear
Watching his child disappear with the sunset and praying to share a sunrise with her another day

When the heretic entered the shrine
To seek wisdom and on the arts of divining
The babalawo laughed and took off his chain
They is no more in these palm nuts or in the world than what you bear in your soul
Through that mystery will you receive the wisdom of all mysteries
Return again tomorrow my son

The town crier didn’t beat his gong this morning
He’s either dead or the king is
Either way best we stay at home today
I’m tired anyways.

#5 – ready or not 


I know that you’re trying to catch me
But really I just want to be free
In a cage of my own making
I want to give out what I’ve been taking

There’s a song in these words
A rhythm i wish I could understand
Does this imposter wish to die by the sword
Are my castles really just made of sand

I don’t know if i’m ready for judgement
But I’ll sing the song and give it all that I’ve got
Whatever you figure is a suitable as punishment
I’ll accept it as my lot

#4 – floating


You taught me to find the beauty in nature
And to love the flaws inherent in every tree
You showed me how to nurture a flower
And in time to let it grow free

You gave me the fluidity of the wind
That I may paint these ideas in the sky
Ahh I feel the lift in my wings
As these words join the by and by

#8 – Hell is empty


Hell is empty,
And baby its a sad, sad view.
Hell is empty
And baby, i really miss you.

I knew the costs, behind your vice
I love you, yeah, that does sound nice.
But it can be, a treacherous thing to say
A Baneful happy-ending, to flower someone’s day.

You swore up and down, to no ends
That perhaps my angels and demons, may become your friends
Maybe one of them, would understand your many fears
And reveal to you, my masked away tears

Hell is empty
And baby I’m alone.
Hell is empty
And how long, will you make me atone.

This I know is true
That I deserted heavens gates to be with you
That we may make paradise out of this barren wasteland
Or at least, this was our plan.

To be continued


Imagine a world where the leaves grew purple
and sand dunes were gloriously huge marshmallows
where the dodo adorned every sea shore
and the tallest mountains made dragons a living lore

#53 – An opiate for the weary mind


Today i’m going to hide a bit of what’s been going on to stay strong
Because the thoughts swimming in my head are rigid and wrong
So allow me to whisk you away on a magical adventure
To the high seas in search of some long forsaken pleasures

This garden of delights had only bioluminescent plants
Which lit up the paths as we walked restlessly searching
For something to freeze our spirits with fear till we wet our pants
I understand that my fantastical descriptions are far too reaching

I hope you’ve heard of the lion who was king of the desert
We found him when we stumbled to one of the most desolate places on earth
He was the beginning of the end of the world
Though his glory shone and caused the overwhelmed leaves to fall
He gently lay down and died in order to resurrect all

#52 – HWPO


What would I like to be
And accomplish from this mission
what would change about me
From this terrifying and exciting vision

#51 – the path of ghosts


I want to see your ghost
to ask if it’s lonely and cold
with the lord of hosts
In the city of gold
If you’re happy there
I’ll consider joining when i’m old
But just you say the word
And I’ll come storming in
With the foolish and the bold
To break the sheep from the fold
Oblivious to the tales of old
Just you say the word
And this world will come to an end
But you won’t be alone
And the nights won’t be cold
I spoke to a native doctor
Who became my friend
The one from the story of the tortoise
Trying to get his wife pregnant
He asked that I bow my head to the floor
And before the most high be repentant
Just you say the word
And I shall gently knock on heavens door
Like a good school boy
Who knows not a thing about God
Now truth be told
I don’t know what I know
Not even what I do not know
So I adhere to wisdoms of old
And analyze whatever it is I am told
I’m drawing a map from these paths
That appear beneath my feet
I hope that we can once again laugh
At the end of this journey when we meet.

#50 – Hahaha and a Sunny day


I laugh out beaming like the sunrise to a new year
There is a hidden message to be passed with subtlety and flair
I guess it’ll be shrouded in mystery for a little while
Decipher it in my dimples and my smile

The sands of time do not halt for any man
Not even for those with the best of plans
But my only option is to put pen on paper and write
And have faith that fate will shine it’s light

#49 – it’s been great


I took a big rest today
But I have one thing to say
Thank you
It’s been great
And it’s gonna be greater
Just you wait
Thank you

#48 – Mazel Tov


Mazel Tov and a lovely New year to you
I’m going to the bridge at midnight to admire the view
i’m scared to look down so I got high
It’s what I do to reach into the sky

It’s such a wonderful time of the year
Filled with so much hope and none of the fear
Basking in the remnants of Christmas cheer
Partying because the end of the year is near

Mazel Tov, My friend be bold
Who knows what the future holds
Let us go to he who has some love we can borrow
Because who knows, we might be dead by tomorrow.

#47 – A bottle of sunshine


I was handed some water by a maiden
‘A bottle of Sunshine’ she called it
It’s recommended for repose to the heavy-laden
Something to lift up the spirits

Here, have a bottle of sunshine
Hey, fill your pockets with a bit of the divine
It’s all yours and it’s all mine
A part of some grander design

#46 – Never bet against


Never bet against
the dice I roll
Nor ask them to forgive
the money you stole
Never knock asking
for love, part or whole
I gave so much
baring open my own soul

#45 – tighter than the roots of hardwood trees


I kissed you like, god damn
And a baby’s first taste of vanilla ice cream
I licked you like, I want to make you my fam
You tasted even better than in my dreams

It was the heavens and the earth
And all that was in between calling
It was a man and a woman
replaying history’s first act, again i’m falling

We’ll hold on like roots to the soil
There’s nothing realer than that
And this which could make even blood boil
The gaze from your eyes is a lover’s pact

You looked at me like I was the world in one guy
And I knew I wasn’t much back then
You choked on me as if you were ready to die
I came, rising again and again, shouting Amen

#44 – box your flowers


24 times a million hours
And for each second I’ll gift to you
86.4 billion flowers
That’s longer than I’ve ached to share an existence with you

Driving 60 on a heart’s runway
Let’s love loud with 0 shame
I swear, here is where I’d like you to stay
Let’s try to play a winning game

#43 – A sneak peek from ‘waking in a haze’


They raced past stop lights
Half an hour before midnight
Trying to getaway from the crime scene
Looking for a place to reconvene

She had to blow his brains away
It was the only way to save the day
Now she’s panicking and blood stained
Taking a pill to keep her anxiety contained

They drive over to Ed’s to switch the car
Their journey is going to be quite far
They meet a girl and her grandfather on the run
Just wait till they find out who planted the gun…

#42 – the shepherds


The shepherds have gone to sleep
It’s past their bedtime
And as stars glow into night’s deep
The light means we’ll all be fine

The shepherds have gone to sleep
And although i tried to implore
They left a meadow of sheep
For whatever wolf was at the door

#41 – Holy Ghost


I heard bells ring
And a choir of birds sing
Nature really does the most
Makes you think it’s the Holy Ghost

#40 – A golden tale


Slowly and surely
We crawl to the ends of all knowings
Buried under dusts
Of past deeds
We lie in wait as seeds

With each reassured step
I carve out a path for a new story
That’s hidden
In the vaults of my mind
More valuable than a gold mine

#39 – A Winter Solstice’s Question to a Pregnant Virgin


(It’s an eight line poem broken into thirds)
(Read it as 3 verses, then attach each corresponding line from the verses together and read as one verse)

you immaculate lady
I wish I believed you
about your baby
the world
Call him
the son of God

blessed art thou
Yet I do ponder
The why and how
It was done
And the innocents sacrificed
too late to realize
the giver of all life

I know you would not lie
So I must ask
did you bare him to die?
By our hands
for our hands
We murdered God,
Now his blood floods our lands

#38 – the last act


Watching the phonograph spin
she resembles a mastermind
If this is a game you play to win
Then, i’m in quite the bind

Did you hear that?
She bursts out suddenly
It can’t be recreated,
I’ll tell you with a fact
And it wasn’t until suddenly

This world is turning in and around
And we’re going to be dancing
When the shit finally goes down
Smoke in the air
hand in hand

#37 – Party through the dawn


Through life’s explosive torrent
Grant me this last wish if you can
Release me for a moment
So I may die a free man

Will you stand with me at the dawn
Of the new world
Will you laugh or yawn
At my idea of partying with the whole world

#36 – What’s your name? Do you remember me


I’m not dizzy from the drinks
it’s your ballgown that’s put me in a trance
I’m might have fallen in love, me thinks
But all in all, thanks for the dance

You guided me in the movements
The jump, step, pinch and thrust
You said it’s something holy
Do it with someone you trust

We met again on the streets
With a guess of what the night had in store
We clawed and ripped my favorite sheets
And didn’t stop till we were both sore

The morning after I didn’t quite get your name
So i’m writing this because maybe
You kinda feel the same
I fell in love with you lady

#35 – Havas utca V


Cheers to great nights
And a wonderful friendship
Memories made
through Sun and moonlight
The past half decade
has been one amazing trip

Cheers to more life
And I hope that
fun times never end
Headlong and strong
in our youthful adventure
With joy of uncountable measure

Cheers to the good times
Like when we rolled
Laughing on the living room floor
Caressing the tree of life carpet
Getting zonked and drinking tea
Being in the heart of life, living

Cheers to my brothers and sisters
Your indomitable will
Your passions
For what you feel
Taught me to value
The bond that we share
It’s a deep treasure

#34 – rest days


There’s a line between feeling and meaning
Show me what you’re made of

There’s an ocean between legends and believing
And no one holds a compass

You’re permitted to rest a while
Just maintain your focus

Push harder with a smile
Paying no attention to hocus pocus

#33 – RSVP


Hey there
What’s your name
Oh! Franca
I’m sorry, I’d hate
To miss the party
but I have work all day
And my kids have to be in bed
By eight

No problemo
My dear friend Jane
I hope you don’t mind
That I used
some of your photos
to make a collage
Those were the ones I could find

#32 – 5 minutes to midnight


You took me to heaven in the softness of red wine
and laid me on clouds to be swept away
I hope you read and enjoy the heaven between the lines
But first, tell me how you spent your day

Falling asleep in front of the wheel
Holding out, taking desperate measures
The dream and waking state, are to me, so real
Buried between multitudes of treasures

#31 – This morning the words were alive, tonight everything will be fine


Blue fluorescents blink through the alleyway
where we met and fucked yesterday
There’s a schoolboy there doing graffiti
Of a lioness and an acacia in the Serengeti

This morning, your words were so alive
About how my heartbeat was a perfect metronome for your sleep
Tonight, I know will be alright
We both have our promises to each other to keep

Let’s have dinner in that rooftop bar
Where the whole of budapest can be seen
Tell stories of our past and how we’ve come so far
Since the time we spoke about our ambitions and dreams

#30 – prelude


We’re walking a fine line
Attempting to put things right
Yeah, i’m all good and everything is fine
But it’s not when I sleep at night

There’s a god in the skies
Whose fights could split open a cloud
Sometimes a stray one or 2 humans die
When he beats his war hammer all mighty and proud

I’m trying to fill my vessel up with words
And I’ll surely hate to bore you
So tomorrow I promise to take you on a tale to a different world
I promise it’s gonna be worth it to see the view

#29 – tired


How do we get it done
And still have fun
stop the hellish fire
Before the situation gets dire

I didn’t get much sleep last night
So I stared from my mat into the bush
Distracted by fireflies and their light
Thinking about strong gorilla kush

#28 – Ramblings about puffing loud and going down


Do you hear me loud and clear
Bound to the starboard
As sirens sing into the air
There’s a dozen men already overboard

Hug me tight
And remember
even though we fight
That we’re stronger together

There’s a guiding light
Leading us back home
There’s a green piece alight
I puff, when it’s close to my dome

Lets watch a movie
Then drive around the town
We’ll do to each other, something groovy
And I’ll give you a crown

#27 – on my bicycle


today i rode
my bicycle
through the streets
of my hometown

I saw veranda posts
from Ile-Ife
littering the sidewalks
of my hometown

there’s a girl
setting up shop
multiple fruits on her pan
i offered her a hand

there’s a boy
over there
fashioning totem polls
dog, tortoise, pigeon

there’s a woman
weaving mats
her children play
hide and seek

In my hometown
there’s a yellow church
and multiple forest shrines
visit them all

then i met
a man
one eye, arm and leg
he’s a god

the birds sang
from his waving staff
blessings to you he said
blessings to you

today i rode
my bicycle
to where my ancestors sleep
in my hometown

#26 – To Christmas, and For Ever (If I could write a song)


They met outside a summer party
turned midnight bar brawl
that was when they loved once
or maybe twice or thrice
dancing alone in the trance
of a melodic symphony

they knew they loved once
but i think they did twice
and all of night
was shining bright
from the look in their starry eyes

The heart-shaped cake,
from Christmas day
the softness of her voice
as they watched ballet
making music for angels
moulding together like clay

they knew they loved once
But i think they did twice
on that day
she called him love,
and he was new,

Someone said that it was doomed
that no love could survive such wounds
on the nights when she cried
Saying with a look into his eyes
my love, my dear,
comfort me with a song, so I know you’re near

they knew they loved once
i think they did twice
but everything that lives,
must someday die

dancing the days away
In a special kind of play
They took an incorrigible stand
And walked into never-never land

they thought they loved once
But I know they did twice
and forever and ever they were shining bright

they thought they loved once
But I know they did twice
forever and ever, in the face of night

Like heaven in the sky
and the rainbows up high
forever and ever they were smiling bright
and forever and ever, let there be light.

#25 – Annemarie and Noel


My shoes got stained with tar
During a jog, though I didn’t go that far
I took them off outside of my door
‘Cause the last thing I’d want to mess up was the house floor
I washed hard to get the stain off
So I’ll give it an afternoon to dry off

I’m not usually one to talk
But I asked if I could join you on a walk
So we spoke of transcendentals and the rule of law
Arguments justifying natural rights and it’s flaws
What a human should be and how friends are made
What it takes to be happy, forgive and the patience to be cheerful as sorrows fade

I bumped into you in a metro on the way to work
You were dressed in a white and blue pleated frock
A couple of weeks later we met in the park
We agreed to meet up for a picnic and frisbee lark
It was an engaging fun and really inspiring time
And we culminated the night with a kiss
uninfluenced by the joint or bottle of fine wine.

#24 – Staring at a star


I got the idea from the moment we clicked
that this match was by the heavens fixed
I spent all night staring at the stars
as I strolled with your celestial body through the bars

I heard that its impossible to shine
when you spend energy throwing shade
so I’ve decided to focus on the competences that are mine
and lie in this bed in the way it is made

Today, we criss-crossed our names on that golden tree
yesterday you said you wanted to be free
well, i’m gonna be here and there
taking in deep breaths of fresh air

#23 – the greatest


you decided to make that house your grave
and for that we all called you brave
what could i have done to alleviate your misery
how could we have set you free

we knew that you both grew and loved one another
thats why you agreed to live this life
like living in that home with no open doors
because he asked you to be his wife

we built all of this up from the dust
and nothing could ever bring it down
not flames, quakes or hell’s deepest frost
it’s the greatest thing to grace this earth’s ground

#22 – slow\flow


today reminds me of a time
before there were rules
when i just kinda went with the flow
today reminds me that i have
to pay my dues
its evening and time’s moving kinda slow

i didn’t rest much last night and now
i’m falling asleep
but i’m too tired to dream
so i was engaging with my brain
about good things to keep
—peace, health, family and friends—
on an ultralight beam

#21 – Imaginings


something lies beyond those clouds,
at the end of the world i’m sure we’ll find out
something hovers on in outer space
would you ever like to visit that place?
I dreamt of floating in the ocean all alone
and my thoughts weighed on me like a stone
and with each breath, i strengthened to bear the load
till my minds eye, like a diamond glowed

A sailor at the port told me
that he only felt safe and sound
or in other words free
when it was just him, with no one around
in a boat, on the open sea
and that was the last I saw of him
I was told he succumbed to the siren’s hymn
fair enough I said,
imagining what thoughts had been in his head


15/10/2021 – 03/12/2021

Bonjour mon Cher
I’ve reconciled the memories
Of years past
Loving on the beach
Fighting in the bus
And fucking on the chair

my lady
those train station walls can’t reveal
what you and I know to be real
the ticket lines
and kisses goodbye

Bonsoir my dear
I barely remember the story
of all those things
but i know i should have said sorry
that even when the night began to clear
I turned and left you there, not your dear

#20 – Absolution


I’m sentimental like leaves in the fall
I ebb and flow like the waves of the sea
Taking notes so that I don’t forget it all
Writing poetry so you don’t forget about me

Father father, I wept to the priest,
My great sins have me full of fear
He said, even the lamb after the great feast
Thought his burden was too great to bear.
Rise up my child, and praise the lord of your soul
He lifts his eyes up to meet mine
Rise up my child, the love of God will make you whole
And everything will be fine

#19 – the quarantine playlists (For a daisy, Kisbaba)


Tears drop into my tea
And reflecting in the ripple
I see you my darling, and she
Love and Life at times
can seem so fickle

To wrote this: to you
A musical prose
Of the movements in my soul
What my mouth could not say,
I suppose

It was: a quiet, longing
For a return to simplicity
I feel your agony in the depths of my sorrow
It was: a mood
dug from grateful reciprocity

I’m waiting for you lady
On the beach in a haven
Lie with me again baby
In the light and in the dark
And make this wasteland heaven

A Quiet (24M/13W)
…Longing (20M/20W)
…Mood (17M/11W)
to you. (15M/13W)

– For Kati.

#18 – Bread or Death


blow it all up
rather than be in chains
resolve for me
the ache in my brains

windy rain washes the dirt
its our prayers to the sky
giving water to the earth
with the thunderings of a gods cry

who stole the world
and switched liberty for security
who tricked us all
here have life, but no property

cry out in the streets till you are heard
for the voice of blood rising from the earth
du pain ou la mort, we wish to be fed
du pain ou la mort, give us bread or death

Notes from the Miseducation


So I was just writing about
being caught up in love and the game
getting hooked and strung out
getting sober and finding out
that neither of us is to blame
that loving and in love are not the same.

So I was just writing about
how we rode heroine to get by
numbing our pain away like a flood
chasing the dragon in our blood
some of us did it to get high
some of us did it to die

So I was just writing about
this time I mixed lemon with tequila
and performed kind acts of service
with a girl who had a tattoo of a chrysalis
on my way to a church during easter
yeah, sometimes i’m a bad believer

So I was just writing about
lessons I learnt from Ms. Hill’s miseducation
it shed light to some responsibilities i had shirked
and I admire the intricate beauty of her work
speaking with a voice verging on pure perfection
unsullied wisdom directed to all generations

#17 – First find love, then ask how?


Everything means nothing
he said after their first fight
Let the day shine on your loving
But get it out of my sight

I might be coming down with something
She tells me over the telephone
I have some medicine i could bring
if you’d rather not be left alone

She swayed in her step, so elegantly
bare footed, unabashed and smiling radiantly
she spoke some words to me in solitude
it was of some undying gratitude

I’ll be a mirror for you
just reflect on me the things that you do
somedays it’ll be about rain or life on the road
other times, you can just use me to lighten your load

you’re a creation full of compassion and grace
being around you always gets me high
I know every time we meet and I see your face
i fall deeper in love with the gleam in your eye

Even the tiniest sentiments would mean the whole world,
she said in their last fight
just wrap me in your arms i don’t wish to be impearled
we loved good, but we’ve got to learn to love right

#16 – ramblings in perpetuity


What does it mean to care for the world and be overjoyed
And where will you be when the final bell is rung
who is the one and how do we even begin to fill the void
And when shall the saints depart in song

The why of it all escapes me
Because you see everyday I struggle with the question of what it means to be
The immense suffering, present in it all
Conscious that the spirit of subtle resentfulness was what brought about the fall

I watched your eyes light up
And the corners of your mouth lift into a smile
The elegance in your speech and the way you walk
I’m completely enthralled by your style

Will you save me from the fiery pit
For the one good thing that I ever did
or will I go mad in this place I sit
pull me out if god bids

I have to leave home,
to find a dragon to slay
Will you give me a kiss
(like when we were alone)
If I am able to save the day

#15 – for the waking haze


today i read about a wretched victim
of what some called divine judgement
they say he was a dirty heathen,
and that the bereaved deserve no consolement

the man on the moon
came today to see you
he returned after playing me a sweet tune
And left behind pictures of the wondrous view

we’re speeding on the road
on our way to Ed’s
the old man reeked of moonshine, and safely in the land of nod
nodding and mumbling, red means dead, red means dead

i was speaking to this babe from the choir
it was midnight and we were at the bar
i misquoted a line from the gospel and she called me a liar
but she helped me fill the vacancy in my car

Funky tweeter


I’m tired of excavating the past
Dwelling on things that didn’t last
I believe I got what I deserved
For bad habits, I have to unlearn

I’m turning on inner lights
Trying to find my soul
Across days and nights
Working to become whole

I wrote to stay alive
As I drifted through the seas
You helped me survive
By giving me more love than it seems

You wore a beautiful dress today
And I only just thought to say
Someday, I want to hear the voice of your heart
And ask you for permission to be a part

I sometimes doubt if I could change
Or that i’m still caught up in old ways
I cast away distress as I turn the page
I put one foot in front of the other, and take it day by day

#14 – No one’s business 2.0


I can’t blame you for leaving, if you felt in pain
i saw you in a dream and it got me thinking
that could it all have been in vain
i tear while you dance, and i walk away

i am beginning to suspect, the heat of love
involves sustained friction of hearts
but thats more pain than fitting into you like a glove
like monkeys holding a wrench, screwing the wrong parts

bubbles pop, volcanos blow
geysers shoot up, streams and rivers flow
i wouldn’t choose one over the other
because i think they all serve a higher order

so i was thinking, to join you dancing
In the peaks and valleys, to the darkness of mines
it’s too late, you told me crying
I understand what you mean, the blame is all mine

I promised you, i’d be there
and in my struggles, i was fatally unclear
while you wandered about keeping time
becoming another’s business, no longer mine

#13 – No one’s business


With you i’m lost
in lands unknown
you, my oasis in hell and frost

take me in your wings
you bird of paradise
take me, take me some place nice

i sat all day at the market waiting
for someone to buy these trinkets you made
At last, they came, the carpenter and his maid

is there something promised that I’m forgetting
I have to fix this lifeboat that’s leaking
Tell me we’ll be fine

i feel my sinews strong tonight
vitalised by every second she smiles
she’s miles away, many many miles

#12 – An isolated toke


Can we be alone once again
And learn in solitude
Will you call me an old friend
And look back in gratitude

Imagine you were a master carver
Trying to find life in dead oak
Or perhaps you were with friends in the forest
Finding god behind the toke

I don’t want to go to outer space
If it means we’ll be reckless over here
I can’t think of a better place
Than wherever you’ll be near

Will we grow in grace
And laugh at our youthful foolery
Nothing but peace on our minds
With our hearts light and merry

#11 – what is my life, without your love?


What does it mean to be alive
I struggle to answer unpretentiously
Some say it is to be found in strife
Others say lounging on a beach next to the sea

She used to think, that you would be my wife
I used to think how lucky I would be
You became determined to prove us both wrong
So you smashed about this house and walked away from me

I laughed and I cried
Then I thought, this time
That the meaning is found in life
As long as you voluntarily go on this journey

Between the peaks and valleys
Above skies and beneath the seas
It’s the unchanging and will be there beyond and till
You have drank from its fountain and had your fill

#10 – the future


No one wants to change the past
So they walk on
Thinking old things will last
But like snakes skin, before you know it, it’s gone

How does one tame animal spirits
How do you call the eagle or the dove
I’ll summon through the energy of my heart beats
And pray I receive strength from above

#9 – Between What I hope and What We Know


I hope it’s not too late
to ask for some directions
to the night bus on Tulipan utca

I hope it’s not too late
you don’t know, i waited 3 hours
apology accepted today, but not again

it’s just the right time
to meet someone new
this girl told me she liked the shirt we made

it’s just the right time
to exorcise this heavy toll
and reveal the richness of my soul

We know it’s past the time
for goodbyes and false smiles
attention: heart break, clean up, all aisles

We know it’s past the time
so you can keep saying whats been said
i couldn’t give a crap, i’m going to bed

#8 – It’s getting easier


You are the plaintiff and jury
I’m the executioner’s punishment
in all it’s fury
be merciful in judgment

In love with how the details sound
Remember who legislated our game
Violence and peace were options on ground
But anger poisoned our brain

This is gibberish
What the crickets tell me before I slumber
So I lay on my bed and think of sheep
Hopping, so I count their number

I’ve sat in contemplation for long enough
To know that there’s no lasting reward in acting tough
I’d rather be as soft as a new born
Who was never, from his mother torn

I gave a dime to a blind woman once
She held my hands and blessed me
I wept and thought, how much I act like a dunce
Taking with levity what a gift it is to see

The first time we kissed was in an elevator
Outside the library opposite the front door
The last time we fought was on the football field
I tackled, you punched, neither of our wounds healed

Somewhere in the good book there’s a passage
About all the riches in the world, not being worth a human soul
But I think some parishioners misplaced the message
Because they proselytize for the idols: silver and gold

I was once, for years, a slave
I was a captured though accidental stowaway
This is the story of how I was saved
And how I met the man who would be the king someday

#7 – interlude


I made a carrot cake
But I still don’t think I can bake
I don’t remember how I did it
Because I was baked from the first minute

I wrote a different story yesterday
About the happenings of a dream I had today
I haven’t replied to the publishers mail
Because I’m still working on the epic fairytale

#6 – Joy Boy


I said a prayer for the earth
As I watched this child’s violent birth
I saw a mother’s pain give way to joy
As she shed tears for her little boy

I set forth to combat disorder
As I cast my treasures to Davy Jones’ locker
I dreamt of satellites and space cars
As I navigated the seas by way of the stars

We shed tears while the waves beat the shore
For we knew we were at the edge of something much more
We shed tears gazing into the dawn
For the one with us who could never hold his son

We were sailors in search of intangible gold
We were men following the tales and legends of old
Becoming that man who walks his final mile
Greets his death as he did his life, with a smile

#5 – Knock knock


A vagabond knocks softly on your door
‘hey baby come outside and have some more’
we’re bitter inside but pretend to be sweet
because a pyrrhic victory is worth more than defeat

A libertine king fills up my bags
as I kiss his rings and promise to come back
to him, the pearls and our mansions in the sky
then I found love and the resolve, to not return a lie

I bore out my soul as much as I could
and if you only knew how much it took
perhaps I was selfish, to think you would want my load
but i thought you understood what it was like to implode

do you remember screaming at me to go away?
you ignored the cracks, even the look on my face
do you remember later asking me to stay?
we played a losing game, but at least we ran the race

i’ll leave a crack in the door, but not to be a lover
I’m just thankful that you and I grew, and nurtured one another
so this is my way of asking, that we put differences aside
and not shun what good we built, in the name of pride

#4 – Give me a moment


I’ve seen heaven’s myriad shades of blue
That it’s lords may tell me what to do
I was asked to minister in hell
For the salvation of those souls that fell

From the moment I crossed it’s border
I was catapulted into the infernal disorder
it sounded like a ghost was speaking to me
‘hello’ it said, ’can you hear me, please set me free’

#3 – Waiting for another life


take my hand
till one of us must go
to the idyllic land’s
garden plateau

draw the clouds
upon the sunset
the thunder speaks so loud
my soul is bereft and my cheeks are wet

will you love and keep me
sound in this eternal dream
i’m so afraid to no longer be.
how this earth weighs so heavy on me

I still remember that day
from the very moment, when you said hi
we were reading the same book,
it was called ‘ love and the journey in the after’
well all that i really want to say
is that this is not a sort of goodbye
I just got caught in the hook,
i’ll be waiting for you in the next chapter.

#2 – A story to tell


He looked in delight
At the sight of his newborn child
Hearing it’s mild cries
Echoing through forest and into the skies

It’s mother cooing sweet prayers in its ear
And her mother wraps the babe in cloth
If you need me, I’ll be over there
She then kisses her grandchild and strokes her hand through its hair

The child grew up to be strong and wise
So much so that elders sort her for advice
She gathered herbs and tilled the lands
I recall her father saying she was worth more than 5 able hands

Her story is one that belongs to another day
So I apologise if you are disappointed by the delay
But just yesterday she begat a child of her own
And I must go pay my visits and welcome my great-grandchild home

#1 – The wisdom of old


In time immemorial i searched for gold
and for so long it was beyond my reach
now i’m a man, who might seem way too old
but i assure you, there’s something i can teach
about the lessons i learnt in yesterdays
from the friends who righted my way

Firstly, be cheerful and be kind
your most valuable asset is your mind
envy and vainglory are the evils of the soul
avoid them if you ever wish to remain whole
also be sure to carry out your duties reliably
always be grateful and treat others respectfully

stay simple, the wisdom of old is valuable treasure
if you love your neighbours and friends, your reward will be beyond any measure
have compassion, and always forgive
your hands can only receive after they have been stretched to give
work hard, make mistakes and learn
be cautious about what you do not know
teach others what you know.

of the Hunt

i never met your mother
but i was in love with her beauty
the purity of madness that shone in her eyes
and the half of the world that i saw in her smile

i never met your mother
that goddess of the hunt
she was wild and free like no other
Hellish beauty with an angelic front

years before the plague, she happened to me in a dream
kissed my cheek and said:
though things aren’t always as they seem
keep this memory of me in your head

i never held your mother
and she never embosomed me
I know, we will be together
Till then take care of her baby boy,
Someday, I hope to, too.

A Wrench

they said,
‘to love you is to die.’
i read their lips as i rose my wrists
to hug your knife,

you said,
‘i’ve searched the world far and wide,
you were all i was hoping to find.’
but now i’m thinking,
maybe you lied.

i said,
‘i would always be there
and i promise to love you till the end.’
well, the end is here
and the promise is like the love,
and the love is like this song,

maybe i could repair my heart
and mend this trust
to be a better man
to be a stronger man
the one she knew me to be
the one i know she would want me to be

you said,
‘do the things now for yourself’
though i’m are only alive because of she.

now she’s gone,
you’re gone
and I have to live on,
for me, our promise of love, and she.

In the eyes of God’s gift

She’s utterly and heartbreakingly beautiful
In the simple kind of way
The way she chooses her words and the stride in her walk
She was the star on which I would pray

I’m imperfect and brokenly affected
And this is what I had to say
break me and remake me
I’ll be yours, loving and to love everyday

She shapes the ground I dance around
Pneuma of magic at night, Golden Starfire by day
make me like you, to be ,as one ,as is with two
tell me the magic words, angel, teach me how to pray

tell me, how does a person feel alive? (what does it mean to feel alive)
She smiles coyly and replies:
The answer you seek lies beyond any meaning
Always remember that you have to die

Show love and kindness to one more person
So that maybe in their eyes you will see it
or like you did for me, hold their hand
and maybe, just maybe, you will feel it.

Dreaming Tigers (Ein Urlaub in meinem Kopf)

The Tiger Looked Just As Beautiful As You Do
Although I Would Argue
To My Dreaming Mind, And My Waking Eyes
That Its Carnal Eyes Spoke True

I Was Unsure, You See
I Had Run In Shame And Fear
Somewhere Between Lust, Magic And Suicide
Backpedaling And Lonely, I Wish You’d Appear

I Saw A Painting Yesterday
Of A Garden I Used To Live In
And The River You Had Playfully Called The Sea
And The Path We Would Walk In

I Want You To Take This Chest
And Weigh It Against A Feather
After My Little Death, And Tell Me Whether
Your Little Death Will Keep Me Alive

Forgive Me, I Speak In Jest

At The End Of The Dream, I Stood For You, A Leap Away
Drinking Water As You Approached
You Made It Known That I Was Your Friend
And You Let Me Stroke Your Fur…
Just Then I Become A Lion
And Feel Your Hand Run Through My Mane
I Feel Your Claws Caress Against My Paw
And I See Your Smile In My Eyes

Gazing At Your Carnal Eyes,
Forever Impressed On The Insides Of My Mind.

– For Allegra

Tell The Ones You Love

Tell My Mom I’m Sorry
Some Of These Dreams Whither Away
And Like The End Of A Winter’s Tale Or Summer Story
It’s Me And You And Our Knitted Connection In Disarray

Find My Brothers And Tell Them I’m Gone
That I Got Lost In The Woods
I Met A Woman And She Had A Cradle,
I Promised To Be The Father Of That Baby
And Thats Why I’m Not Coming Home

Tell My Father I Engraved His Message In My Chest
And That I’ll Let My Son Know, Or My Daughter
That There’s A World, Not Like The One You See
And With The Right Approach, You Can Achieve Your Dreams

Remind Me In Future Days, That We Got High Together
That We Played Silly Games On Each Other
That We Prayed To Something We Hoped Could Hear Us
On The Road, Far From Home, Just A Couple Of Souls
Searching To Become Whole

Slap The Truth Into Me
Maybe Grab My Hair Too, Until My Scalp Bleeds
Remind Me That There’s Some Good In The World, And All Is Not Lost
Remind Me That All The Love We Feel, Is Definitely Worth The Cost

Tell My Mom I’m Sorry
Because I Didn’t Know If She Would Listen To Me
And That I Loved The Way She Brushed My Hair And Tucked Me Into Bed
The Stories She Read To Me Created This Palace In My Head

You Know This Already
But I’ll Reiterate This Again
Let Your Friends Know That They Mean The World To You
And Tell Your Family You Love Them.

by: Babatunde Oluwatimilehin
—.Tell My Mom Her Boy Misses And Loves Her, Everyday.
He Has Since He Was A Part Of Her,
And He’s Grateful For This Love
Now That She’s A Part Of Him.

Just pieces of We

Something makes me wander across the stars i find in your eyes
sometimes at night i fantasise about that evening on the river side
you wore that pink summer dress you said was your moms
and I
I was hopelessly in love with the look in your eyes

I’d write an epistle about the hunger the loss of you makes me feel
it’s called body without a soul,
a bear with no hide, and a wolf with no bones
but alas the water flows, from the lakes into the homes
and I
wonder how it is that even now, you are so real

these trees grow from the love in you
and these roots sink to the hells in me
I hope the fruit is blessed and leaves stay evergreen
longing, softly and strongly
to not be stirred from this violent dream

I listened to your visions, the light intense in your eyes
the colour flushing in your smile
our souls locking and unlocking,
it’s not lost at all, just a piece of me you’d have to carry with you
and I
carry a piece of you in me

shall we compare our gods, our love, fears and hate
you told me about things such of: power and fate
where we come from and why we are here
and what happens before we are born and after we die
Oh how i do enjoy being lost wandering across infinity in your eyes

Astraea: The one that leads the way


It hurts to not be able to write
It’s weird that we’ll never again fight
I’m glad, I spoke those words few
Those words that I love you

And I can hear your heart in my chest
I can still feel my head on your breast
I have for many years doubted that the world was just
I find repose in the thought, all is not lost

There’s a pause in the air
God holds his breath
I know you’re now in the right place
Behind my closed eyelids I see your face

I’ll be with you tomorrow
When I float through the bardo
We have inexhaustible love to borrow
Our fuel to heaven in this boat

It’s a long way


Today I wrote, and I’ve read it over and over
Something for people to hear, something sober
I know that some people question whether to reach out, and not be passive
I don’t worry
I know that sometimes I seem a bother,
yes yes, you know,
memento mori

Everything becomes a distant memory
And who knows if we’ll make it to be old and gray
What good does it do for you to laugh heartily tomorrow
When at night you’re tormented by those whose smiles you killed today

Hypocritical? Maybe, I would never claim perfection
But you know what, someday I’ll disappear and who knows?
Don’t be worried
Someday you’ll disappear too
But now we’re here
What do we have to lose?
What do we have to fear?
If you don’t care? Sure that’s fair
If you do, then just know that I’ll be there
Floating behind your eyelids as words
It hurts like heaven
I’m not worthy to speak the name of…
I can repeat the word
It hurts like heaven
And it’s a long way from hell

it really do be!


Would you join me in the sky
I don’t want to be alone
Let me teach you to fly
You only need to get a little high
we’ll both be stoned
and feel so free
take it slow and get zoned
it’s you and me
so get off your cellphone (you’re not alone)

who am I
unknown (but that’s not the point)
we got way too high (‘cause we smoked too many joints)
lady don’t cry, you’re not gonna die
lets listen to redbone
and get out for some ice cream
i start to do something that makes you moan
but then i wake up from this dream
i’m in my bed alone
lady, please pick up your phone

Sonnet for the dead #2


I miss you more than words could possibly say
as often as i remember your smile
I miss you everyday
except the occasional once in a while

but then i’ll say, your eyes look precious under the sun
as we stared into each other souls
that’s what they call love, and surely it’s fun
achingly whole … and not alone

I miss what might be the ghost of you
what could, and could not be
I miss infinite and your adieu
I miss the bondage that I had called ‘free’

the multitude of words today is a big fat lie
except that i miss you as if i could die

Soul Screaming


If stars could explode in a glorious death
And give off such tremendous light
Then I should have no fear to leave this earth
And tell my loved ones good night

If I could hold your hand as I fall asleep
And whisper to you all my dreams
You’ll know my heart is yours to keep
And that’s all that it means

– For Kati

I Want To Know If I Dream Life


i want to be a new me
a truer me than the old me
one that isn’t afraid to show a lot of glee
a true me that knows i’m free

i want you to be you
and tell me if your words are true
to hold me together like glue
and not leave me broken in two

i want so many things
for the world to live in peace
and not, in time, pieces
i want truth, i want a truce

i want to discard thoughts of inferno
as i fly into the clouds
i want to survive this hell i don’t know
and fly away into this dream in my mind
And make this dream real life

Tetragrammaton (DistantEarth-MMXCI)

I struggle to write rhymes about happy times
I want to explore what it truly means to die
And I mean this; death in all its glory
A funeral where no soul lets out a cry
A cremation for the sake of dignity
For my body to experience the scorching flames
Which my soul would not in the everlasting
I want to go through the motions of my everyday
Sleep wake, pray bake
Go to school late
Write or at least try
Fall in love, so I can break my heart and cry
Stare with starry eyes and an open jaw
At how easily you’d point out all my flaws
But still say you put your trust
In me
A guy that refuses to eat the pizza crust
And I feel you’re amazed about how I speak to you
As though you are a thousand people at once
As though my thoughts are way beyond these words
These words of love
These words of God
These words are a struggle
A delightful strife we all call life
Edging closer and closer to a release that sets us free
The kiss of death
As glorious as the breath of life
As odd as the way your eyes pierce mine
Maybe that’s all that life is
The way this energy flows between us
The way you felt something when I told you,
“I struggle…”
The way you respond,
“I do too,…”
In this simulation, I’ll be a fool everyday
And I’ll say
“I understand”
Hoping, just a little, that you will tell me
“Me too”
That movement, of snow sliding down the mountain
And your heart, pounding in your chest
Of a baby being born and a lamp to the slaughter
To your favorite coffee shop and your growing cancer
All is one
All is God
I’m not going to say I love you
Because I can’t control that I do
But if you know me as much as I know you
Maybe you will never know
And that is the truth
I hope you find this
Buried deep in my thoughts
I’m mad, but it’s not a problem
Because at least i’m not sad

.Aloha from a Persona.


this means hello and good bye

The noise of life is proud and loud
The silence of death is deafening
We’re chasing the stars from the ground
The shrieks of adventure our favorite sound
Can I rewind time to before me and you
To before Jesus broke the bread in two
And pray God to let this cup pass from me?
You were an illumination in the heavens
Wisdom made flesh before my very eyes. How do you stay so divine?

The clouds were starless as I stared into my fantasy
how far i could go
i would never know
but i strive, strive for more
as i dream higher and higher on the clouds i soar
and when i fall
into an ocean of my own sorrow
i have friends who give me joy to burrow
as together we approach a better tomorrow
I pray
that like a phoenix burning with golden wings
through the gallows of my earthly feelings
I rise
and even though the fantasy is dark tonight
if we survive the future will be bright

An immortal touch is buried deep in all of us
and to discover ourselves we must look within
puncture through the surface level till you feel it deep
sometimes I wish we could just be kids again
let the burning fire of our youth
ignite the dusty drapes in our mind
to reconnect with old friends
find out what we had and lost
my physics teacher some years ago told me I overthink the topics
in the same breath he commended my logic
when we argued in class for 3 hours about space travel
and he said it was his funnest class ever
maybe someday we’ll move to mars
I hope he remembers
I told him, that someday, we’ll become the night’s stars

To be , or not to be?
the foreigner spoke into the group
this next one is of bliss
I hope it doesn’t put you to sleep
do you rap rhymes or just read?
I want you to think about this tonight…
before you rest
think about anything you ever wanted
i’m serious, don’t try to be modest
imagine your deepest desires
all that you truly admire
well, i’ll tell you what i thought
one night I was staring into an empty field
under starry skies
and i felt the holy gaze of god’s eyes
closing in to me i heard a choir
slowly the stars begun to sink into the horizon
then, i wondered about my philosophy
and what I would leave behind
i thought of a beautiful story
where we were not slaves to our culture
and didn’t graze through life like herds on a field
like lambs to the slaughter
do the weights in our hearts
steer us when we daydream
staring out on turquoise nights
at skies filled with star light
often I long behind my thoughts
for a person that makes everything feel alright
you know, the person who just has those eyes
the ones that blow your mind
what we all want is that friend
that when ever life binds you down to your knees
would give you company that sets you free
the friend who never says never!
and promises to only forget you the day after forever!
I ask to know what you believe
I know even the anarchist give a damn
when you ask them, to be or not to be?
they speak the name of the divine , I will be what I will be

In the future I would like to walk my paths of yore
and see my past in new light
I cannot wait another life
she sees in colours that don’t exist
she has dreams of sounds that glow in the dark
wake up
please wake up
you don’t have to sleep
we are losing time
lets make reality like our dreams
and write lists under all the christmas trees
and climb all the mountains to wish closer to falling stars
lets dance wild and pretend to be aliens from mars
and embark on an imaginary adventure
eons pass like seconds
as we slumber in each others arms
the breeze kisses us in sleep
our tent grew wings to journey
And patience is a must
even if in the dark we lose touch

what if life was all a lie
in the mind of some benevolent guy
a cruel joke that he doesn’t try to hide
an unequal world that she doesn’t mind
would your grey eyes look back at mine
and see the patterns that are my soul
would you make me feel whole
what if life was a movie
and sometimes it rained tears from a devil’s eyes
and earthquakes shook like diarrhoea farts
in some vehicle moving around the sun
and we got paid with time
and you couldn’t quit the act.
a game thats never over,
that ends as soon as it begins
that begins as soon as it ends
what if life was a game?
of you, and you… and a thousand of you?
or a game of just me and yous?
would you play to lose?
knowing that it would leave me alone broken in two
what if the life was true
and all we had was a couple of rules
that you love me and i love you,
tell me again would you play to lose.

Now, i’m running, running faraway,
there are no stalls in this hall
creeping, in a place with no walls
i keep calling and tripping on landlines
now need crutches, just so i can keep walking walking
lets detoxify our souls and purify our mind
pushing buttons forcefully
sometimes not adhering to the trigger warnings
please stay
go away
please kill some more time with me
be weird
be mad
be sad
puncture my chest
feel my heart
and then leave fast
and when you turn around, don’t look back
i think we should move forward
i think we should venture onwards
and the sumtotal of our journeys would be to someday
meet again
and love again
like we love today
because who knows if we’ll die tomorrow

Between my dreaming mind and the real truth.
there is a multitude of things i have not told you
you think Timi, I cannot understand you.
this is because,
You lean over my meaning’s edge and feel
A dizziness of the things I have not said.
but what, i truly mean is
why don’t we try to love each other,
from now till the day we die
it means hello and good bye.
i wrote this when i was high

– For Veronika, A Mind and Beauty Extraordinaire.

Best friend No.2


Last week, I was thinking about how much I missed you.
I had hoped you were happy and not sad.
that you defeated the voices
you thought made you mad
and cried in your pillow to a happy tune
of strawberry fields just for you
I miss you so terribly,
that I sometimes see your smile in the sky.
Remember that evening we got so high?
we talked of your boyfriend’s band
and I told you a story that made you want cry.
to be dead candid
You showed me a truth that could not be a lie
I was just beginning to see
that our little adventures were what i had dreamed
I felt as free as the breeze
to call you my friend
like a cherry blossom tree blooming in midwinter
with petals floating amongst the snow
I felt like I could fly
to the sweet by and by
and know this could not end

You have the power to create the life you want to live.
Start with taking a deep breath… Then… Let it go.

Thank you for the stars you shared with me
infinities i had not begun to dream
we’re still the kids we used to be
just REBORN to venture onwards

Love, Peace & Kindness
From me to you
Till and beyond
Ever and forever.

– To Dominika.

I won’t share you


for the few truths i know in my head
of memories playing when i’m in my bed
a life we live when we have to take to give
I want to keep,
and will my visions to reality
and tear the masks off our sanity
I won’t share you

The Broken Girl Is Whole


sad nights
full of hushed plights
and silent fights
damaged love
cracked hearts
now alone on the road
desolate and bitter
broken and abandoned
betrayed by the world
consoled by crystals that dont glitter,
snow that never falls,
and she runs, barefeeet in her redd ball gown
there’s someone behind her
chasing and calling for her to halt
but she cannot stop
spiralling into an unknown oblivion of time
the sweet and broken angels crawling by her side
‘do not
let life divide
what death
can join together
become one with all and see
only in this fearful embrace of your demise shall you find solace’
she runs, she knows not where, until she’s not.
falling through clouds gazing at the top of the hill
he lover and killer staring down
now she’s still
still in love
still alive,
in pain
but the purest sort
she feels nothing
and she accepts it
it is finished she whispered
her body broken in all sorts of orders,
her soul finally whole



hallucinating about a cloudy night sky while on the bus in bright day light
music my portal to another world
this windy field of daffodils i find myself in, has no guise
this faulty placebo of my brain
tripping in and out of consciousness
in a strange kaleidoscopic panoramic clip
the troughs and peaks encompass my being
and after all of this i find
that i had taken sugar and not a pill
but why do i still feel?

Bus Rides To School And Work


we move
blind beyond what is life,, beyond what is love
beyond the fingertips that made man
with dried and dead wood lining our sides
springs of living water
misunderstanding deeath
glorifying life
striving for humility in vain humanity
drunk on medicine
communing with visions of old
exploring worlds unknown

Do You Even Remember? (Repostus)


Oh God I pray, that you make me strong enough to survive and be joyful each day.
Oh God I pray, that you hear me speak these words.
Oh God I pray, that you cherish my friends and my family.
Oh God I pray, that you bless this planet that we live in.
Oh God I pray, that you Remember me on the days I’m weak
Oh God I pray, that I can continue to write out my emotions

That i don’t give up
and that i don’t forget God,
That I always Remember,
and that you never Forget. Amen.

***Whispered Prayers

Would you even notice if I stole some of your happiness?
Would you even notice if I said I ‘burrowed’ it? just for a little while
Do you even see me standing on your window pane at night
I’m the same size as the spiders crawling in your heart.

Do the sounds of the sirens scare you?
It’s almost midnight
Will you open the blinds to look out?
Will you see me finally smiling across the street?
Would you wave at this stranger looking at you because you recognize this face?
Be honest, will you let me get away?
Will you tell the police you never saw my face?
Will you tell them you don’t remember my name?

Do you even remember?
The song I sang?
About a time I was in Moscow?
About how you looked different but beautiful knowing I could taste your makeup with each kiss on your cheek.
Do you remember I spoke about being enlightened?
I’ve learnt a lot since then

That i’m stupid and that i’m dumb
And that man should never play God?

Do you remember how I looked across the road before I took of?
The tears in my eyes or the blood in my mouth from biting my tongue to not scream that ‘I am sorry’?

Do you remember the castle we built next to the beach?
Our kingdom, our paradise.
How we had dug it up from underneath the first snow of the season
How I had shared with you everything that had touched my soul
After that heist with all the love that we stole.
I drenched my half in petrol and lit it.
And it hurt so much to look.
Have you ever seen a melting heart?

I had begged you not to cry,
And I let you weep into my chest when you couldn’t hold it in?
Would the sun ever shine like it used to?
Will the night be less dark?

Will the unicorn I rode return to me?
Will the Lilies becomes Roses with my blood?
Will my flaws haunt me till I’m in the grave?
Do you even remember your flaws?

Of course not,
You filled a hole, but grew
Blossoming like the Cherry Blossoms I write about so much about
Then withering like a Rose in Stockholm’s cold storm
I’m sorry I couldn’t bless you with my patience.

You looked in Peace, how I probably caused you sleepless nights
how I never did everything possible.

Maybe one day, after legions of actions
After I’ve crossed seas and been buried in ash
After I’ve crawled from the dust and beneath the sand, I’d find this memory deep in my chest.

This memory that wasn’t real
This memory that never happened
Of a starry night
Heavens lights
And An angel and Devil
That fell in love.

Reflection of dissociated memories, Found in one mind, but at different times. (Remember me in 5 years Time)

29/10/2017 … (coffee shop therapy and meditation)

I remember apologizing to this rose on my table,
because it was dying and I didn’t know what to do
I plucked it from the wild to give to you
a day too early before I could see you.
And that’s when I began to think, that could it’s death help love thrive
Will it’s colors keep what we have alive
Will it’s death help life survive?
I guess we will never know what could have been
I buried the Rose in the garden that night.


I fell in Love with the world in you
now I feel cold.
I fell in Love with the world in you
Now I feel Holier

This World is so enchanting, so much so that it hurts to think
that we are destroying it every day!!

What happens when it becomes too much??


Do all these because we will someday return to dust.

And maybe our atoms could collide some more and become one.
Maybe we will always be lost.
Maybe, one day again
Maybe when,
We meet again in another time, in another life

Maybe I’ll be ink and you’ll write secrets with me
Or I’ll be paint,
And you’ll make me into existence on your canvas
And I’ll stare at you and be your truth

Until maybe someday I decay
And reunite with you at the end
Just like in the beginning.
When all was one.
Before the flash of light or the Big Bang
Before science and the word of God

At the end

Beyond the clouds at the promised place
When all the universe is dark again
And the only thing that shines is your name
When we don’t know where we are,
When there are no words and know loss
No issues and no blood
Will you be happy to know that maybe a part of me was there all along?
A part of me that I lost in your eyes, a part of me that I lost in your smile
A part of me I tried to give to the world,
a part of me that will evolve away from me.

With no time

And hoping that someday. The world will learn
The true value of Loving.

It isn’t just you, and it isn’t just me,
It’s everywhere we are, and with everyone everywhere.

Why Do The Soft Ones Get Hurt?


When it’s hardest for them to cope!
When they want to disappear!
Why do they bleed slowly?
And sink away into a thought of a bleak tomorrow?

So that they grow!
And the scar tissue hardens
Stronger than bones
That even sticks and stones
Are comparably soft
And brittle to touch

Why then do they cry?

For they do not see yet, their tomorrow
And do not see their wings!
Or hear the birds sing!

“The moon is gone
The sun is rising
It’s golden hour”

She deserves to smile
For what was, is gone
And she shall create what will be.
Not with a whimper
But with a bang
She will fly high again
With a smile

Wipe tears
Forget fears
Sip warm liquor
And contemplate on your rigors
None of it will be in vain
I’m falling asleep now (writing) on this night train
But promise me this.

That you dream happy thoughts

And in morrow time when I ask what happened
And why you had seemed so somber…
You cheer gleefully
And say
you forgot.

I hope it gets better swiftly

Sincerely Yours,
A messenger of good tidings.

Why Do The Happy Ones Get Left Behind?



Gone away
Left alone
What happens when they are sad?
How do they overcome?
How do they believe?
What makes them feel
Not depressed not mad
Not sad

Facing the changes

Living with no life
Living and taking in each stride
Neglecting spiritualism and pride

Blind to all the hate
They face, alone



In an empty room
stepping out to see the open road
two bodies sharing a lone soul
but for each, one was whole

Your smile
your cry
your lie

Happiness is in Your touch

The red blush
The silver tears
The unholy fall

Happiness is in your Mind

In Green
In Blue
In Love

Happiness is in Your Eyes

One of the fakes no. 2 (AlienStuntman)

compilation for slam poetry
(Birth of the AlienStuntMan)


In an empty room
stepping out to see the open road
two bodies sharing a lone soul
but for each, one was whole

Your smile
your cry
your lie
Happiness is in Your touch

The red blush
The silver tears
The unholy fall
Happiness is in your Mind

In Green
In Blue
In Love
Happiness is in Your Eyes


am I not
what sets you free?
or art thou not
my queen?

cheerfully speak
sweet nothings
intelligently whisper
and smear lipstick on my face

and tell me that I am
thy life
I sting you
like a happy fly
and Die.


let me disintegrate
flicker and lick
wag your tongue
bite,tug,suck, Fuck

we are meant to be
spirit bound
skin in skin
soul penetrating hole


I’m going to draw a heart
With a knife
Pushing deeply as I start
Allowing the warm blood to flow down the scars that tattoo my arm

I’m sitting in a bath
Soaking my sorrow
Through desolate memories
Of not wanting to see tomorrow

Deconstruct the illusions in your life
And let the truth sink
Let it distort your core and your joy
Let it soak in the light and leave you without your shine
Like a jet without fuel
High and dry
Falling from the sky

And in your inner most castle walls
Just across the palace gates
Hungry babies eyes
And you want to love and nurture
But as you feed
They choke, and with tears in their eyes they die
In your arms they rot
You’re glued to the spot

Bright lights flashes
I’m laying on my back
Yet standing along the corridor
Watching as they wheeled my body across the hospital
I was pale like a ghost and I wasn’t moving
They covered up my art, to stop my blood flowing
And frantically tried to restart my heart, to keep my body going

They didn’t find a pulse and neither could I
I have misplaced it years ago, when I replaced my body with soap
And my bones with ropes
My blood was tears and all my mind was fears

I had put flowers in my chest, and willed them to grow,
thinking it could maybe rejuvenate my soul
But it didn’t and I knew that I would not survive
So I tried to trick my mind,
And tell my fears a lie
That when the flowers die and warm waters flow.
I’ll make myself a new heart to make my body glow


and then suddenly you were everything,
Only because deep in my heart i had nothing else
and as i search for words that may spring to mind
to describe my current predicament
i understand that you were merely,
a phantom of my imagination
and nothing about you is real

Broken (please don’t cry)


A grotesque kaleidoscope of inhuman
beauty with the transdimensional eerie of celestial intelligence.
search for a word that could explain
and characterise the beauty
something to define the pain

it doesn’t exist
even though you look beautiful always
please don’t be sad
it’s so very hard

the fears are easier to face in silence
without hearing teardrops hit the floor
but its strange
I remember this day, i woke up on a train
turning my head, feeling my body was hell
but she smil.d,

I don’t miss You
I just want to
be in that train again
when its all dark outside
trying to get back home

and look into your blue mascara covered eyes
tell you to visit me someday soon
watching you disappear into the horizon

appearing a few days later
walking at night
in the dark
hand in hand
hugging you,
smiling gazing into smiles
falling asleep on the bus back home, feeling something was missing

trying not to cry
feeling broken inside
did you or did you not
say ‘goodbye’?

Don’t bother to survive (written in 6 minutes or less)(i hope it doesn’t look sad)


Its sad
very sad to think
that it could all end
in-between bright lights and a blink

and all that you love will be lost
nothing will be found
and you sink slowly into the earth
you deteriorate and fall apart

it comes to an end
only in the end
all the loss, all the pain
all your love was all in vain

and those romanticised moments of you and me
hand in hand of what could be
wondering who and what will survive
but the chambers echo our desire to die

and it all fades away but staying the same
my smile and frown and name and age
only nature will remain
when time turns its page

Absolutely NOTHING


I’m going to draw a heart
With a knife
Pushing deeply as I start
Allowing the warm blood to flow down the scars that tattoo my arm

I’m sitting in a bath
Soaking my sorrow
Through desolate memories
Of not wanting to see tomorrow

Deconstruct the illusions in your life
And let the truth sink
Let it distort your core and your joy
Let it soak in the light and leave you without your shine
Like a jet without fuel
High and dry
Falling from the sky

And in your inner most castle walls
Just across the palace gates
Hungry babies eyes
And you want to love and nurture
But as you feed
They choke, and with tears in their eyes they die
In your arms they rot
You’re glued to the spot

Bright lights flashes
I’m laying on my back
Yet standing along the corridor
Watching as they wheeled my body across the hospital
I was pale like a ghost and I wasn’t moving
They covered up my art, to stop my blood flowing
And frantically tried to restart my heart, to keep my body going

They didn’t find a pulse and neither could I
I have misplaced it years ago, when I replaced my body with soap
And my bones with ropes
My blood was tears and all my mind was fears

I had put flowers in my chest, and willed them to grow,
thinking it could maybe rejuvenate my soul
But it didn’t and I knew that I would not survive
So I tried to trick my mind,
And tell my fears a lie
That when the flowers die and warm waters flow.
I’ll make myself a new heart to make my body glow

High and Dry, Deluded in the Sky (For Amadine)


describe the world we live in
don’t you feel the carbon chains around
don’t you feel the bends
with every step that you take
that the oxygen we breathe is
as fake and as plastic as our trees
and the lady you care about so much
what is real about her
have you bothered to even ask
what is real about you

we think the same things at the same time
this is dedicated to all human beings
for the reckoner

it wears me out
if i could be who you wanted (to be what you want)
my body is attached to the strings that you pull
my hair as fake as your clothes
will you (promise to) love me all the time

is it all useless
because we do this to ourselves
whats the point
that’ll all come to an end

Let it shimmer in the light. In the light of the world
i can’t blame you.
for what you are, what you’re taught
about all the human beings, all creatures

dedicated to all human beings

dear friend

I’m back

sorry i was away
for so long


it was a slippery slope
the pyramid we slid down, slipping in and out of consciousness

life is large
but it only goes so far
meet me here
between the bars

i feel numb
and my memory shifts into random access
and my soul
is nude
i’m in foolish distress

would all this love
be in vain
if its all for blood. I promise i wouldn’t be gone
i can help and change and make a difference

Love Always,


On the moon where we forget all our mistakes

(in the end)
we visualised the climax from the beginning
Delude me and betray me
I’ll leave, so you find me again
i reminisce of days without you,
before you
before i tripped through your wires.
before we quenched the devil’s desire

Noise pollution and transport fumes
pioneer for a new generation
The stairway to heaven of tunes

Lightening strikes and webs across the night sky
Her Blonde hair falling down her shoulders unto her back
i wanted to feel the scarf around her neck

but look what love gave us…
a world full of killing and bloodspilling

Dedicated to all human Beings

Muse v2 (Life isn’t easy, but you can’t say it isn’t full of Beauty)


I was lost in wonderland
gazing into her eyes
and seeing
colours that didn’t exist in the rainbow

and i saw it
what had once been gone
her billion dollar smile
the day we sat and talked
about liquor and guns
about love and gods

the illusion
and mystery of life’s purpose
and about our passions
about pain, some of her pain

and we concluded that life is only life because of memories
we are what we believe and how people believe us to be
faith that we are conscious
trust that our energies mix

Kristine inhaled the smoke and felt as it heated her blood
she looks up at Cody
he forgets about his loss
forgets Marilyn,
forgets about Clementine
and in a solemn embrace
she kissed him

and in that moment it was right.
and she felt the fire in her lungs
maybe it was the smoke, maybe it was the kiss
and she felt a connection, not just with him, but with a different part of life
his energy in her she felt like God
and he, still sitting hallucinated about seeing an astral projection of her intelligence
encompassing all that was
it was an eerie sound the he wanted to lie in

so they immersed their souls in what was
because strange things will happen
and our memories of days are what remain when it ends
they ran across the road chasing the bus
and weren’t disappointed when they didn’t make it
he was going to remember she tasted like honey
and that was because they didn’t hide
under the milky rain
she was queen of the harbour
on this beautiful day.

– For Agi

Muse (You can’t say life doesn’t possess it’s moments of brilliance!)


I was spiralling into wonderland
gazing into her eyes
and seeing
colours that didn’t exist in the rainbow

I saw flashes of it
but it disappeared ever so quickly
her billion dollar smile
the day we sat and talked
about liquor and guns
about love and gods

the illusion
and mystery of life’s purpose
and about our passions
about pain, some of her pain

and we concluded that life is only life because of memories
we are what we believe and how people believe us to be
faith that we are conscious
trust that our energies mix

Jackie inhaled the smoke and felt as it heated her blood
she looks up at John
and he forgets about his loss
about Marilyn, forgets about Mary
and in a solemn embrace
they kiss

in that moment it was right.
and she felt the fire in her lungs
maybe it was the smoke, maybe it was the kiss
and she felt a connection, not just with him, but with a different part of life
with his energy in her she felt like God
and he, still wrapped in her human blanket hallucinated an astral projection of her intelligence
encompassing all that was
An eerie sound the he wanted to lie in

They immersed their souls in what was
because strange things will happen
and our memories of days are what remain when it ends
they ran across the road chasing the bus
and weren’t disappointed when they didn’t make it
he was going to remember she tasted like honey
and that was because they didn’t hide
under the milky rain
she was queen of the harbour
on this beautiful day.

– For Agi

She loves you


A series of converging scenes, all shared with different individuals:
Young 8 year old singing and smiling.

Tears shed after graduating high school.

Reading the letter she wrote to you, and feeling warm in the depths of your chest for the first time.

Feeling her head next to yours in an Airbus A340, miles above clouds.

Loving her, while she sings that song, about getting the words wrong.

Loving her, when she says she loves you.

To The Lucky Ones.


By the riverside, I was drinking a cappuccino, in conversation with a friend about music and how she met her lover.

I was suddenly consumed in thought by the silent connections people make, I recalled the cloudy-eyed man i had met in a streetcar about a year ago…

Then i made a silent prayer in my heart, that my friends and I continue to experience blissful moments of revelation, as we explore life and each other.

Untitled #2


Happy and Healthy

Alive and Awake

Coffee and Vodka

Teas and Soda

Time and time again
Smiles breaks gloom as sunny skies bring light to day
And shines so much that night is bright
Glasses and water. Reflections ripple
And reveal
An us that cannot feel
An us that can only see
What is out of its cage
An us lost in our eyes
A fragmented people
A shaken world.
An us that dreams of sunny skies and still waters
That hopes we remain in this blissful youth
That we lie in the sound
Under the sun
Dreaming of love
From dawn to dusk.
And under moonlights and starry nights
We gaze into Gods eyes
And ask if the he made us
Or if we made him
If he has a plan
Or if we’re too much for him to stand
Ask him about our love
And if it’s ever enough
If it will be in vain and tear us apart
Or if it’ll last forever and transcend beyond time





i miss you
dont you remember
just listen
…your eyes
okay, you said forever
till i die
but you’re still alive
you must be blind
i see you everyday
please,search your mind
what do you mean
it lies
what lies
your mind
how so
i’m not alive
yes you are
I’ve been gone
i see you
for so long
open your eyes
what do you see
that is me
where are you, how come i hear you
you dont hear me, i am nothing
come back
i can’t
you dont love me
i still do
and our one plus one
doesn’t make a 2


it has been difficult to put recent things into words
but you’re here, in this trance
and lets hope that our tongues don’t turn into swords
sleep tight and cigarette daydream

15/11/2016 — (I had a dream i was up in the hills),
05/04/2017 — (I wrote about the dream)
with a girl who was more pretty than flowers could be
and i explored her mind, and found that it had treasures sailors would kill to find
we had shared a cigarette as the world grew quiet around us
it was genuine, she was cool. she had a love, sweet young blissful love it was
I was content with existence, with the occasional crises it gave me
In this trance
and our interactions outside this trance
it was perfect.

But seasons changed, and sometimes even the best do not remain
Bloom again…
Bloom again…
And let me gaze at uncorrupted beauty again
Beauty that will spread…
Beauty that will spread like wild fire.
Now, and until our atoms disperse, collide and the big bang becomes nothing but a whimper.

Goodbye …

Brown Morning After Coffee


why do the clouds make the world brown
when she frowns
a smile upside down
disrupts my wiles construct.
Maybe my knowledge of chemistry
distresses me to find a correlation with theology
because for the few
who get cold chills when next to
stainless steel
impress on the bench
not knowing much about french
and i notice
that (as we walk down budapest streets)
frowns could be as beautiful as smiles
On regular mornings after coffee

How are you?

18/02/2017 – 22/02/2017

We inhaled each other’s atmosphere
A bit of each other’s universe
You penetrate me
As I penetrate you
Our consciousness intertwined
As we become one
We are love
We give love
We see G-d
Floating around in all of you
In all of me
As we
Escape our mundane existences to become light beings
And you,

Held the cardboard to paradise
And fed me ambrosia
Filled my heart with ichor
That we may be greater than what is to come. And all that has been given

We fold around a core.
Where we can shape my heart, your heart.

Chain me down and
Deconstruct my parts
Let me envy your entity
And think less of your ethereal beauty

Let me remind you that even in an intoxicated state
I can drive you further into confusion because I speak to you
I don’t know you, but you know me

Let us bask in eternity
Eons we create with our minds.
As we explore cosmos
Trying to figure out who is you and who is me

We journey through day and night
Through entity and nothing
Transcending over existence and in existence
Break your heart and breaking mine

We have nothing left but each other
As we dissolve into our bodily fluids
And unite in passionate cries
And I knew you knew
When you asked
How are you?

The Labyrinth


We are trapped

I am Frightened
I am Frightened
Without a map

Be happy
Be happy
And please stay

With me in
With me in
This labyrinth for one more day



It’s like i’m blind
and i feel the sun each day
but i dream of seeing the sun
i would be disappointed if it disappeared

you are the sun
and i am the blind man

The blind man would rather feel the warmth and never see light,
Than be cold for the rest of his life.

Cold Liquor

11/08/2016 – 29/09/2016

She tasted like cigarettes
trying to swim in a pool of lust
but drowning in an ocean of sorrow
and she hated it
hated the fact that he could see
her cracked up layers
and her piled up fears
he held the leaves
in her Cardoon shaped heart

For she didn’t understand that her smoke was his air
And he revelled in the waves of her lust
And basked in the breathlessness of her sorrow
She sleeps on a bed of roses
But only feels the thorns
And he bleeds by her side
Painting the white petals red
And every night they decompose
in the bottle of Cold Liquor

Out of Berlin’s lights
With nothing else in mind
And only the wall is in sight
She wants to stand by the wall
Make love by the wall
And the pigs could fucking watch
Because they will Ride and Die
They are the freak show
And all of heavens hosts
Acknowledge their place down below
Sitting around a table
Sipping Cold Liquor

Untitled #1


In the meaningless echos of the deep
I swallow some truth
And the bitter taste ran cold down my throat
As cold as the nights air flowing into my lungs

The instruments strum in one accord
And the world which should have stopped rotating didn’t
I felt spaces open inside of me
Spiritual caves with stone doors falling to pieces

Everything was in its right place
But the eerie transdimensional soul in the music created a portal that elevated me
I felt waves brush through me as i was both within and without
I existed above all and also behind

Donut shaped lights revolve around the sky
I hear song about a bed. He wants to sleep
I want to sleep with you
In my sweet heart

Different heads, different faces
Different homes but in the same places

A Girl Is A Gun (For Cs.)


Do You Feel Your Heart Racing
As She Squeezes Your Hand In Hers
And When You Kissed
Did You Feel The Trigger In Her Tongue

I Could Smell The Powder
As She Whispered In My Ear
And She Bit On The Lobe
Saying Baby Do Not Fear

Did You Think You Were All She Had
She Is More Than That
Stronger Than You, Stronger Than Me
Stronger Than What You Thought She Used To Be

She Was Never Broken, Not For A Brief Moment
And She Never Forgets, Not The Bloody Vertigo
Every Gift Helped Build The Armour She Carries
From Every Person Who Filled Up Her Chamber

She Kept The Bullet You Gave Her
When You Promised Her Your Love
Spread The Word
A Girl Is A Gun

Csinszka (Detti)

Az arcod egy messzeföldi álom,
Hol nincs neve az utcáknak,
Szív nem törik s nem lesz rom,
A csillagok jönni fognak,
Mikor kinyitod a szemed
És az éjszaka elhal
Mikor mosolyogsz.
Your face is a dream far from Earth,
Where the streets have no name,
Heart will not break and will not ruin,
The stars will come
When you open your eyes,
And the night will die,
When you smile.
Dein Gesicht ist wie ein weltferner Traum,
Wo Straßen keine Namen tragen,
Wo Herzen weder gebrochen noch zerstört werden,
Die Sterne werden auftauchen,
Wenn du deine Augen öffnest, pp
Und die Nacht wird sterben,
Wenn du lächelst.

An Angel and a Devil fell in love

4/05/2016 – 24/05/2016

Once upon a time
a girl of light met a prince of darkness
and in her light he provided her shade
and in his shade, she showed him the light

Once upon a time
when all that was, had been
at the cross road of souls, she kissed him
and she lost the ingenue, that she was

Once along that time
she was damned, for she did not shine
but in his heart, she left a light
from beneath the earth, he spoke to the skies

SHOW ME a reflection of my struggle
TELL ME its a divine joke, i do not understand
TELL ME you can’t help me, i don’t believe you



are we just a people in a building
in a building within a country
a country within a union
am i just a girl who looks different
standing on a chopping board
to be judged
for not appealing to the masses
or being able to do the ballet dances

i believe that in a day the world will change
i believe that in a bright and beautiful day
where keeping a beard
wouldn’t warrant you extra stares
or the colour of the passport
leads to a heart’s distort
This is no ordinary idea i burrow
and no matter anybody’s say
why wait to change the world tomorrow
i’d rather be that difference today



i’ve given you everything that i have and more
fall into line
you know that i love you
you know that i care
i may not speak these words to you
just know i’ll always be there
and may not think the sentence of me
let me be your foolish love
let us bask in the forbidden knowledge
not from the fruit that man possesses
not with any of the good
not with any of the evil
not with any of the suffering
you know the truth
you smile as you read these words
you know i speak to you
be ingenue, i plead
give me more time
to show that i am worthy
i am not perfect
and i need an angel by my side
i need you with me
i want you to care about me
to give me the time of day
to look at me and smile
to be filled with joy not disgust
and we will reminisce in future days
of when i’ll play with you hair tomorrow

Naked and Dumb


sell your clothes
and go out in the cold
just another one of the mistakes
like the ones i was told

change my mind set
make me dream of Illinois
and sing me to sleep in the Chicago streets
then run me back to Brooklyn

tell me, i reek of cigarettes
and that i’m too drunk to be sound
but the night is not over yet
i’m not just some bitch you can walk around

i put on my lipstick
and a layer of makeup to hide behind
maybe i’ll look out of place
but i know you’ll like this face

this is not my daydream
and its not even remotely a nightmare
i’ll look and still not find it
a reason not to stay under your rain

17, thats the magic number
the year i found you
21, the year i’m most grateful for
i wasn’t fun enough for you

now i’m your art angel
dress me up in feathers
i’m your masterpiece
yet i wear the trashy shit

i weep lightening
but my thunder isn’t loud enough
you tell me to take a pill to make me numb
you only like me when i’m naked and dumb

Your Fly




                                I not

                  what sets

     you free

                            or art thou not

          my queen



                sweet nothings



              and smear

     your lipstick

                                 on my face

                    and tell me

      that I am

                 thy life

                      and like

     a happy fly

                                           I sting you





and then suddenly you were everything,
Only because deep in my heart i had nothing else
and as i search for words that may spring to mind
to describe my current predicament
i understand that you were merely,
a phantom of my imagination
and nothing about you is real

S miként te voltál hirtelen,
Csak mivel szívem mélyében,
Mást nem leltem.
Kerestem szavakat melyek lehet,
Eszünkbe juttatják,
A helyzezet.
Megértem, voltál csak.
Egy képzeletbeli fantom,
S nem igaz rólad semmi.

To Ada


I let myself down and it wasn’t because I wished you loved me. it was because I wanted you to know I cared.

On that cold afternoon with the sun over our heads… our skins glowed a gold colour

I called you a princess and I meant it. because I’m weird in that kind of way. and you said you were 17 and I told you I was 16. you smiled, I blushed. I smiled, you blushed. like a chemical reaction it took place…

I didn’t want to leave anything too sentimental, because I assumed it would be drivel to you. I guess it’s useless now, but I feel hysterical.

I had acted like I didn’t care, and like I wanted you to disappear. That other bit was kind of true, I wanted to disappear with you.
We were beyond all of this.

I just want you to know this.

You’re so fucking Special.

One of the fakes no. 1 (BrokenQuill)

When I became the Broken Quill, I was at a low.
I felt the earth make corners and fold into me
this was all I could think of to be
In my dreams there was love, and there was blood
There was a beginning, then there was a flood

In the Beginning

I met this human, who was an embodiment of the confidence I wished to have
but like all things it fell apart, some ink spilled

Someone didn’t understand
Had no idea what it meant to me
And the connections grew weak like radio waves through lead walls
I didn’t break down,

I gazed at the picture of a man holding a guitar while smoking a cigarette
Next to a painting of surreal bliss
Eternity began to lose its hold of me

The Flood

No one can understand what clicked in my head while she whistled
That thing is destroyed now
and like babel destroyed by the powers that be
The tears i could have shed collected and diluted the ink, but never spilled
and my hands shook as i wrote a letter to myself, seven letters


Nature should remain
no skinny love
gasping for air
touching fire
flames, fire from beyond
hotter than hell, as glorious as heaven
we hug,
i ignite
and die
She lies surrounded by ashes and sighs
closing her eyes to leave her body in the realm of men
transcending beyond to a place that was
All is Full of Love,
easy to say,
if you know what is love…

No more let Life divide what Death can join together


For this purpose I become a quill. Composing a message to You, and anyone who believes in Hope. A Fantasy based on Reality. With an affinity for: Egalitarianism, Arts, Science, Theism and Cigarette Daydreams

One day it will all make sense,
About how a Broken Quill could possess Poetic Vanity.
I guess for now you’re the judge, to this
Enigma personality.


The Feminist


I fell in love with a feminist
but it only lasted a week
she was heavenly champagne for my thirst
but it only proved I was weak,
she’s 21, living the dream,
10000 miles away from home
and I’m 17, chasing the scene
Trying not to be left alone.

I fell in love with a feminist
and her name is alex,
she’s done with the 3rd cycle of her life
while I contemplate on all my strives
I met her at the airport,
she was wearing a leather jacket
and I knew the battle would be lost
I’m a sucker for leather jackets

I want to kiss this feminist,
because I think we would like it
she could view me however she wants
because I would become her dream,
she would taste like cigarettes
and I wouldn’t mind,
I’ll know she’s mine
and I wouldn’t regret it

I fell in love with a feminist
but at the same time I loved my friend,
my mind was a tangled knot of emotions
and I didn’t know how it would end
so in the thick of the night I wrote a poem
and I called it cherry blossoms, because
my heart had gotten so high
that it can only fall down

talking about the feminist,
She was the very bold kind.
we planned an imaginary adventure around Europe
I see it was a decision poorly timed
she loved all genders alike
not a common feature in Africans
she was rebuked, but she didn’t care
they could all go screw off somewhere

I grew infatuated with the feminist,
so much so that I believe she could see
the kind of effect
she was causing in me
so she closed down her doors/breath to me
and waited until I couldn’t breath/rest
laying in the drapes I hear the long beep
My heart finally going to sleep.

I fell in love with a feminist,
obviously you know that by now
depends on what you define love as
because other times I exaggerate
and there’s this girl in my class I adore
she’s different from the girls I’m used to,
My brain gets very dizzy.
my heart love’s easy

I realize now that she’s a feminist
unlike most she was also a realist
and I counted myself lucky
to have known this grace/person
eventually I summed up my fears
I lined my emotions in a queue
and I told this feminist, my eyes heavy with tears
I love you…

Unfinished Story


She looked like she needed a drink, or she’s had one too many… Isn’t that just hilarious, I thought to myself as i ordered my first drink at the bar. This is going to be my only drink tonight i told myself as i took a sip out of the bloody Mary. Why a celery stick would ever be put in a drink beats me… She walked out of the bar, every step looked easy, she wore heels and was dressed conservatively. i watched her hail a cab. She stepped in and i couldn’t help but silently wish i saw her again.

I got to school a bit late, and thanked my stars that the lecturers didn’t really care about tardiness. I considered skipping the lecture outrightly but i needed a breather from my busy schedule. having a band wasn’t as easy as i thought, most especially when you’re the song-writer, lead bass and backing vocals… almost like the devil turned my biggest fantasy to my worst nightmare. it was beginning to make me wish wishes didn’t come through, it was on my mind for 5 seconds until she stepped into the class. She took a seat right next to me, my only fear was that she could hear my heart beat.
‘hey’ she whispered to me and my heart skipped a beat. i opened my mouth but shut it due to the sudden increase in the acidity of my throat, it felt like the breakfast i didn’t have was about to come back out. finally i swallowed my cowardice back where it belonged(the guts i was trying to prove i had).

‘hi’,i replied, she giggled,
‘whats so funny?’ i asked out of reflex
‘it took you about 5 seconds to reply’. now i giggled, it was more of a cough, those giggles that rupture in the back of the throat and don’t make it to the chest.
‘oh, that doesn’t usually happen’
‘i saw you at the bar yesterday’
‘yeah, i saw you too’…’how come you got to class like 10 minutes before its supposed to end, you basically missed the whole thing’ i said with a smile
‘i wanted to see you’ as those words came out of her mouth through her perfectly poised lips. i almost choked on my own saliva.
but instead i asked her out for a drink. i was going to meet her later tonight

Now with my band, we were working on a new song… the synthesisers buzzed in with the guitar riff,and the drum picked up before settling into a quiet beat , i strummed silently into my bass guitar as the lead singer, jeff, sang my lyrics:

this is all
it could ever be
allow me to wallow
in all this sorrow
its part of losing
what i knew would never be

halcyon days are behind me
halcyon days
but in this limbo
i exist
let the brimstone rise
let the hail rain

black in the sunlight
blood in the moonlight
without you
is leaving me blue

I don’t want you
keep telling me to do it
And you know it’s not true
just let me down

just let me down…
just let me down…

‘shit man, thats like the dopest thing ever… what inspired it?’, Ed asked me

‘nothing really, i just mixed a bunch of stuff together its quite abstract’
‘we could keep rehearsing it till night time, we could perform it this saturday at the university open mic night…’

‘i’ve gotta go out by night time, i’m meeting someone for a drink’.

‘whats this girls name?…’ and in that moment i realised i didn’t even know her name. shit.

Cherry Blossoms


cherry blossoms fall to the earth
and you smile with every passing breath
the earth remains the same like an endless stream
we’re forever trapped in my cigarette daydream

I look every night through my telescope
wondering how the future will be
but i have eternal hope
just knowing i have you with me

i’ll take you into my meadow
you can carve your name on my tree
it will bind in a state of gleo
a euphoric freedom with me

whether it was bright or bleak
we’d stand through thin and thick
we meet the adversary blow for blow
till we vanquish every foe

Cherry blossoms from the ground
only to fall from the sky
the bloom in the love we are bound
is that which will never die

the daffodil bed we made is its marrow
and the winter bird plays possum
down south is the home for the sparrow
where the cherry bushes will blossom

My Immortal


Slipping slowly into oblivion
but grasping unto light in a darkness so void
the pain felt unreal, i was falling too fast
but i couldn’t overcome the illusion of your presence

from your bleeding wound to your bruised knee
and the cuts that time cannot seem to heal
we’re ‘unlost’ in the city of the lost
you are my immortal that haunts me

i can’t seem to recall the sound of your voice
I’ve tried so hard to forget you screaming about your fears
and all the tears i had to wipe off your cheeks
and all that time you called me your immortal



Once, 3 years ago
On green sticky notes, I wrote my first poem
And I called it ‘meadow’
Because it was my imagination
And all that it was about
And I never showed my teacher
Because I couldn’t trust her with my mind
And my mom didn’t get to see it
Because I had hid it away
That was my junior year in high school
I stuck it in-between a textbook before my science test
I was running late and had to get dressed
And Liz called me her bestfriend
And Bimbo gave me a Christmas card
Which I hope came from her heart
And she signed it with a row of X’s
And my dad was always so proud of me
He reminded me each time with a smile

Once, 2 years ago
During an english language test, I wrote my second poem
And I called it ‘Tree’
Because that was all I could think about
And it lives in my meadow
And the teacher gave me an “A”
And told me how good a writer I was
And my mom didn’t get to see it
Because I still didn’t trust anyone
That was the year my baby sister got braces
After 2 teeth got pulled out
And the girls in my school
Complimented my ‘good’ looks
Even though they still called me weird
And made jokes about me
And Liz was heartbroken
After she broke up with her boyfriend
And my dad started telling me to man up
It scared me to think he might not always be here with me

Once, a few hours ago
On paper from a friend’s notebook, I wrote another poem
And I called it “Innocence?”
Because that was the name of my flaw
And all that life was all about
And most of my friends liked it
But I kept it’s true meaning shrouded in mystery
And my mom hasn’t seen it
Because I only just wrote it
My parents spoke in harsh but encouraging tones,
When I failed biology for the first time
And my grandfather completed his autobiography
And I like this girl, who lives 4000 miles away from me
And she is so perfect
That I hope she’ll love me someday

At night time, I tucked myself into bed
Because I was in boarding school
So I tried this poem in my head
And I called it ‘absolutely nothing’
Because that’s what it was all about
And I told myself it was perfect
And in my dream, I thought of ending my life
And so I slit my wrists, because life isn’t worth my strife
Then I woke up, and I cried